Funniest lines in Middle-Earth

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Smaug the sardonic worm has several good lines,
including: "You have good manners for a thief and a liar."

And Bilbo:

Poor Bilbo couldn't bear it any longer. At 'may never return' he began to feel a shriek coming up inside, and very soon it burst out like the whistle of an engine coming out of a tunnel....the poor little hobbit could be seen kneeling on the hearthrug, shaking like a jelly that was melting. Then he fell flat on the floor, and kept calling out "struck by lightning, struck by lightning!" over and over again

and

Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!

And Gandalf and Thorin:

"Where did you go to, if I may ask?" said Thorin to Gandalf as they rode along. "To look ahead," said he. "And what brought you back in the nick of time?" "Looking behind," said he.

That's all for now, so thag you very buch.