Song Parodies

[Bombadil]

Terrible Tonight

Its late in the evening,
he's wonderin' what mail to wear.
he picks out his weapon
and swings it right through the air
And then he asks me, "Do I look alright?"
And I say, "Yes, you look terrible tonight."

We go to the battle,
And everyone turns to see.
This horrible creature,
Who's riding on top of me
And then he asks me, "Is your back alright?"
And I say, "no, it feels terrible tonight."

And it's terrible
because I see the hate that's right in your eyes.
And the terror of it all is that,
You just don't realize,
How much they fear you.

It's time for goodbyes now.
It seems that I've lost my head
I watch you get stabbed twice
And hope that you aren't dead.
And then I tell you, as I pass into night.
I say, "Darling, you were terrible tonight."

sniff, everyone talks about how evil the Nazgul are- but they have feelings too!

[Nimrothiel]

This is a parody of a song that I'm sure hardly any of you know, but to any Trekkie fans out there, you are not alone.

Hobbit Trackin' to the tune of Star Trekkin' by The Firm

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin’ across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
Boldly going forward cause we gotta find that Ring.”

Number 5: “Seven, report.”

#7: “Theeeeeere's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, King.”

Number 5: “Analysis, Number Six.”

#6: “It's… orcs King,
but not as we know them
not as we know them
not as we know them.
It's orcs King,
but not as we know them,
not as we know them, Primus*.”

#7: “There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, King.”

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
Boldly going forward, still can't find that Ring.”

(#6 and #9 crash into the Witch-King; #9 to #6: “Shut up, Six.”)

#9: “It's worse than that;
we’re lost, King
lost King.
It’s worse than that;
we’re lost, King,
lost King,
lost.”

Number 5: “Ring Wraith leader, the Witch-King.”

W.K.: “Ah! We’ve come to kill
hack ‘n slash,
hack ‘n slash.
We’ve come to kill,
hack ‘n slash,
hack ‘n slash, Wraiths.”

#9: “It's worse than that;
we’re lost, King
lost King.
It’s worse than that ;
we’re lost, King,
lost King,
lost.”

#6: “It's orcs King,
but not as we know them
not as we know them
not as we know them.
It's orcs King,
but not as we know them,
not as we know them, Primus.”

#7: “There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
stave them off, King!”

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
boldly going forward,
and things are getting worse!”

Number 5: “Entinrue**, Number Three.”

#3: “Ye cannah change the mind of Sauron,
mind of Sauron,
mind of Sauron.
Ye cannah change the mind of Sauron,
mind of Sauron, King!”

W.K.: “Ah! We’ve come to kill,
hack ‘n slash,
hack ‘n slash.
We’ve come to kill,
hack ‘n slash,
Three help me out!”

#9: “It's worse than that;
we’re lost, King
lost King.
It’s worse than that ;
we’re lost, King,
lost King,
lost!”

#6: “It's orcs King,
But not as we know them
not as we know them
not as we know them.
It's orcs King,
but not as we know them,
not as we know them, Primus.”

#7: “There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, King!”

#3: “Ye cannah ignore Sauron’s commands, Firsty!”

#9: “It’s simple breach of contract, King!”

W.K.: “King to Nazgul, Warp Factor Nine.”

#3: “Ach, if we push ‘em any harder they’ll collapse, King!”

*which they do; and sadly the Nazgul are destroyed in the Fires of Mount Doom*

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin’ across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
Boldly going forward cause we gotta find that Ring.”

*Repeat at a consistently higher pitch and fade*

*Masculine form of the Latin word for #1, or first.
**Not sure about this word, I couldn’t find a copy of the lyrics, and the only place I’ve heard this song is in a video on stonetrek.com; a clever mix of The Flintstones and Star Trek.

[Evisse the Blue]

Lostgaeriel, beautiful filk (of a beautiful song from a beautiful (!) series!

The Sword’s still sharpe

*applauds* I always can't help chuckling at this in-joke.
And thanks for the links. Do you by any chance have any links to the mp3 for this song? I know I searched and searched for it and couldn't find it anywhere, as sung in Sharpe's series.

And now if you don't mind I'll parody Over the hills and far away, Nightwish's cover version (originally sung by Gary Moore). (only one of the finest songs known to mankind ).

Over the Hills and Far Away

The wizard came back one fine spring day,
To travel he was bound,
He spoke to Frodo a strange tale,
The Dark Lord's Ring was found.

The Walkers Nine set on the Quest,
Not a season too soon
Frodo gave in and claimed the Ring
In the fires of Mount Doom.
"You stand accused of robbery",
He heard Smeagol say.
He knew, without a sign from Eru,
Tomorow's dark will mourn his failure.

Over the hills and far away,
For one long age the Dark Lord lay,
Over the mountains and the seas,
A' scheming for the Ring he'd be.

The following verses are about Aragorn and Arwen:

She knew her love would cost her dear,
And yet she had to say:
"I'll give up Elvendome for his sake,
In Middle Earth I'll stay."
She had to fight her father's will,
Her heart beat like a drum.
For even though an Elven still,
She did not wish to part from Aragorn.

Over the hills and far away,
She prays he'll save ME some day,
As sure as Anduin reaches the Sea
Back in his arms she swears she'll be.

Each night, the Ranger stands on guard,
He looks up at the stars,
He thinks about the prophecies,
One day he'll know the taste of kingship.

Over the hills and far away,
He swears he will return one day,
Between the mountains and the seas,
In Gondor's land again he'll be.
Over the hills and far away.

[Bombadil]

To BIlly Joel's: "We didn't start the fire"

Iluvatar, Manwë, Laurelin, Oromë,
Telperion, Aulë, Elbereth Varda,
Cuiviénen,elves are born,
those that turn become orcs
Moriquendi, Calaquendi,
all of them in Arda.

Created earth by song,
but Melkor is too strong
You better run, you better hide Ungoliant is by his side.
Ossiriand, elves green, Melian's a new Queen
Elwë, Olwë, Ingwë, Finwë ones who’ve seen the light.


We didn't start the Eä
it was always going
As the trees were glowing
We didn't start the Eä
Well we didn't light it,
But we tried to fight it.


Fëanor, Silmarils, Fingolfin, said he’d kill
Destroyed the trees, Stole the jewels, Morgoth he was named
Valar sad, Noldor leave, Silmarils can’t help the trees
Yavanna cries, and there they lie by her creation mamed

Teleri killed, Mandos cursed, Fëanor gets there first,
Hopeless wars, unnumbered tears, sudden flames, and many years
Second born, Morgoth mad, Nirnaeth Arnoediad
Eärendil sails to Valinor and rids the world of fear


We didn't start the Eä
it was always going
As the trees were glowing
We didn't start the Eä
Well we didn't light it,
But we tried to fight it.


Turn the page, second age, Akallabeth, men take stage
Numenorë, Atalantë, Elrond’s brother, Dunedain.
Meneltamar, the rising star, men forget the Valar
Sauron captured, Elendil, corruption leading down the lines.

Amandil warns the “Gods,” Manwë mad, now it’s on
Eagle clouds billow in, dieing men and boys and girls
Island breaks from the center, Valinor you cannot enter,
Iluvatar intervenes to change the shape of the world.

We didn't start the Eä
it was always going
As the trees were glowing
We didn't start the Eä
Well we didn't light it,
But we tried to fight it.

Gil-Galad, Elendil, Isildur, Narsil,
Last alliance, all divided, massive war we go to third
Here’s an age of many things, of leaving elves and magic rings
Esgaroth, Smaug the Dragon, he’s defeated have you heard?

Smeagol Gollum, ring is found
To its fate is Sauron bound
Frodo takes it on himself to lead us to a 4th age
Nazgul, shelob, crack of doom,
Fate of Arda’s future looms
End of all things and all the rings WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!

[Vuelve]

Yay ya'll (yes I said ya'll) revived the thread!!! ***Runs off to go write another one.***


Resident 8-ball hustler,
Vuelve

[Elianna]

..........yeah, I didn't know lost of those songs. So here's one that hopefully all will know: The Beatles' "Elanor Rigby", now "All the Uruk-hai"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Look at all the Uruk-hai!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Look at all the Uruk-hai!

Orc, goblin-men,
Saruman bred them
to fight
for the Ring,
That Precious thing.

Burned Fangorn Forest
to heat his iron
but the Ents
got real
angry at him.
The outcome was grim.

All the Uruk-hai, where do they all come from?
All the Uruk-hai, where do they all belong?


That's all I have. This is only the product of a veryveryveryveryvery boring bus trip, so it might have been better under other circumstances, but oh well.

[Lostgaeriel]

I was feeling very silly when I 'wrote' this one.

Sung to Old MacDonald’s Farm. (E-I-E-I-O!)

Farmer Maggot’s Farm

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he had mushrooms,
B-A-M-furlong.
With a mushroom here,
And a mushroom there,’
Here a “mush”; there a “room”,
Everywhere a mushroom.
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he some pigs,
B-A-M-furlong.
With an “oink-oink” here,
And an “oink-oink” there,
Here an “oink”; there an “oink”,
Everywhere some bacon.
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he some beer,
B-A-M-furlong.
With an huge jug here,
And a huge jug there,’
Here some beer; there some beer,
Everywhere some fine beer.
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he had three dogs,
B-A-M-furlong.
With a “Grip! Fang! Wolf!”
And a “Wolf! Grip! Fang!”
Here a “Grip!”; there a “Fang!”
Everywhere a “Wolf! Wolf!”
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

[Lostgaeriel]

This is based on the Underdog cartoon theme song.

For those of you unfamiliar with Underdog, you can look up his history and hear his theme song at Toon Tracker.

There's no need to fear! Underdog, um, I mean Aragorn is here!


When Sauron in Mid-earth appears,
And darkens skies that once were clear,
And frightens all who see or hear,
The cry goes up both far and near
For Aragorn! Aragorn! Aragorn! Aragorn!

Sword reforgéd, healing powers;
Fighting evil in two towers.
Aragorn. Aragorn!

When in Mid-earth the Nazgûl speed
To fill the hearts of men with dread,
Committing black and evil deeds;
To right these wrongs with blinding speed
Goes Aragorn! Aragorn! Aragorn! Aragorn!

Sword reforgéd, healing powers;
Fighting evil in two towers.
Aragorn. Aragorn!

[Lostgaeriel]

Some variations on Edelweiss. I’m not sure if it was originally written by Richard Rogers & Oscar Hammerstein for The Sound Of Music or if they just borrowed a traditional song for their musical. Anyway, I’m borrowing it now.

Elanor

Elanor, Elanor,
Every winter you greet me.
Star of gold,
Small but bold,
You look happy to meet me.

Star-bloom of light
May you give delight,
Give delight forever.
Elanor, Elanor,
Bless the Dreamflow’r forever


Niphredil

Niphredil, Niphredil,
Every winter you greet me.
Small and frail,
Bright and pale,
You look happy to meet me.

Blossom of green
May you sway and lean,
Sway and lean forever.
Niphredil, Niphredil,
Bless Lothlórien ever.


Alfirn

Alfirin, Alfirin,
In the green Lebennin fields,
Small and godl,
Ringing cold,
Tall grass thee from the breeze shields.

Sweet bells of spring
May you bloom and ring,
Bloom and ring forever.
Alfirin, Alfirin,
Bless my Gondor forever.


Evermind (Simbelmynë)

Evermind, Evermind,
In my mourning you greet me.
Small and white,
Clean and bright,
You look sorrowful to meet me.

Bright eyes in grass
You mark those who’ve passed,
Those who’ve passed forever.
Evermind, Evermind,
Over green mounds forever.


Athelas

Athelas, Athelas,
When Black Riders come stealing,
Long and keen,
Sweet and green,
Your leaves’ virtues are healing.

Leaf-blade of Kings
May you heal suff’ring,
Heal suff’ring forever.
Athelas, Athelas,
Cleanse all evil forever.

[Lostgaeriel]

The following is based on the Spiderman theme song.

Striderman

Striderman, Striderman,
Does much more than a fighter can.
Heals a wound, any size.
Sings a lay – and he’s wise.
Look out! Here comes the Striderman.

Is he strong? Listen, bud,
He's got partially elven-blood.
Can he fight Five Ringwraiths?
Trust in him and have faith.
Hey, there! There goes the Striderman!

In the chill of night,
At the scene of attack,
Wielding flames red-bright,
He with fire drives them back!

Striderman, Striderman,
Lonely Estel, our Striderman.
Friendship he can’t afford.
Narsil’s shards are his sword.
Look out! There goes the Striderman!

He’s there,
Beside Glorfindel, Elf-lord,
Fighting Ringwraiths at the Ford.
Watch out for Striderman!



Striderman, Striderman,
He’s Elessar, our Striderman.
Fights a war, any size.
Arwen’s hand is his prize.
Look out! Here comes the Striderman.

Is he smart? Listen, bud,
He’s got partially elven-blood.
Mordor’s plans he has read.
Plays Sauron head to head.
Hey, there! There goes the Striderman!

In the morn, alone,
In the Deep’s rocky tow’r,
With a Seeing Stone,
He reveals his true pow’r!

Striderman, Striderman,
Fearless Elfstone, the Striderman.
Wealth and fame make him bored.
Andúril is his Sword.
Look out! There goes the Striderman!

Arwen,
Your love is hope to Estel.
Stitched that flag with your needle.
Sent it to Striderman!



Striderman, Striderman,
Lives his life as a knight-errant.
Takes the Dead on a trip.
Finds a way to the ships.
Look out! Here comes the Striderman.

Is he brave? Listen, bud,
He’s got partially elven-blood.
Ghostly troops he has led.
Goes where men fear to tread.
Hey, there! There goes the Striderman!

In the dead of night,
At the dark Erech Hill,
What a fearful sight –
The Dead bow to his will.

Striderman, Striderman,
Daring Dúnadan Striderman.
Soon to be Gondor’s Lord,
Arwen is his reward.
Look out! There goes the Striderman!

Gilraen:
"Onen i-Estel Edain,
ú-chebin estel anim."
She gave us Striderman!

[Evisse the Blue]

Here's a parody after the song "I'm in love" by John the Whistler.

"No matter what they say,
I'm in love.
I dream things my own way
cause I'm in love.
I can't keep Middle Earth out of my mind,
I'd read Lord of the Rings all the time.

No matter what they say,
I don't care.
I'd read it everyday, everywhere;
Cause Tolkien made a world of his own,
They say that he's a genius,
I'm in love.

No matter what they say,
I'm just fine,
They say that I'm a geek,
I don't mind.
Cause always for the greatness of its style,
I'll read Lord of the Rings, so yeah, I'm in love."

Weak, but you get the point.