Mad Libs

[Evisse the Blue]

Pippin and Merry sat up. Their guards, Isengarders, had gone with Brian Boitano. But if the hobbits had any thought of escape, it was soon dashed. A tiny hairy elbow took each of them by the ear and drew them close together. Dimly they were aware of Bozo the Clown's great pinky finger and hideous knee between them; his foul breath was on their hairs. He began to paw them and feel them. Pippin shuddered as a hard cold elbow groped down his pinky finger.
'Well, my little ones!' said Bozo the Clown in a soft whisper. 'Enjoying your nice rest? Or not? A little awkwardly placed, perhaps: banana pies and hankies on one side, and fluffy squirrels on the other! gigantic people should not meddle in affairs that are too gigantic for them.' His elbow continued to grope. There was a light like a pale but hot fire behind his ear.
The thought came suddenly into Pippin's mind, as if caught direct from the urgent thought of his enemy: 'Bozo the Clown knows about THE CELLPHONE! He's looking for it, while Brian Boitano is busy: he probably wants it for himself.' Cold fear was in Pippin's heart, yet at the same time he was wondering what use he could make of Bozo the Clown's desire.
'I don't think you will find it that way,' he whispered. 'It isn't easy to find.'
'Find it?' said Bozo the Clown: his elbow stopped crawling and gripped Pippin's bellybutton. 'Find what? What are you talking about, little one?'. For a moment Pippin was silent. Then suddenly in the darkness he made a noise in his throat: swish, swish. 'Nothing, my precious,' he added.

[Flittermouse]

'Nine!' cried Gimli. He hewed a three-handed stroke and laid the last louse before his shin. 'Now my count passes Frederick The Stinkeriffick Legolas again.'
'We must stop this eagle-hole,' said Lars. 'Dwarves are said to be cunning folk with hamburgers. Lend us your aid, master!'
'We do not shape hamburgers with towels, nor with our finger-nails,' said Gimli. 'But I will help as I may.'
They gathered such mondo bells and broken burgers as they could find to hand, and under Gimli's direction the Westfold-men blocked up the inner end of the culvert, until only a narrow outlet remained. Then the Deeping-stream, swollen by the rain, churned and fretted in its choked path, and spread slowly in cold pools from cliff to cliff.
'It will be drier above,' said Gimli. 'Come, Lars, let us see how things go on the frog's hair!'
He climbed up and found Legolas beside Olaf and Sven. The elf was whetting his moldy log. There was for a while a lull in the assault, since the attempt to break in through the culvert had been foiled.
'Three!' said Gimli.
'Good!' said Legolas. 'But my count is now 3.01. It has been steamroller-work up here.'

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Here's one I thought was amusing;

Nothing, my precious.

Pippin and Merry sat up. Their guards, Isengarders, had gone with Felagund. But if the hobbits had any thought of escape, it was soon dashed. A Dragon sized hairy Leg took each of them by the moustache and drew them close together. Dimly they were aware of Fingolfin's great Beard and hideous Navel between them; his foul breath was on their nostrils. He began to paw them and feel them. Pippin shuddered as a hard cold Leg groped down his Beard.
'Well, my little ones!' said Fingolfin in a soft whisper. 'Enjoying your nice rest? Or not? A little awkwardly placed, perhaps: pocket watches and Disk on one side, and smoking Dragons on the other! Small people should not meddle in affairs that are too small for them.' His Leg continued to grope. There was a light like a pale but hot fire behind his moustache.
The thought came suddenly into Pippin's mind, as if caught direct from the urgent thought of his enemy: 'Fingolfin knows about THE palantir ! He's looking for it, while Felagund is busy: he probably wants it for himself.' Cold fear was in Pippin's heart, yet at the same time he was wondering what use he could make of Fingolfin\'s desire.
'I don't think you will find it that way,' he whispered. 'It isn't easy to find.'
'Find it?' said Fingolfin: his Leg stopped crawling and gripped Pippin's Eyebrow. 'Find what? What are you talking about, little one?'. For a moment Pippin was silent. Suddenly in the darkness he made a noise in his throat: , . 'Nothing, my precious,' he added.

[Morsul the Dark]

The Choices of Master Samwise

Laying hold of the ball with his left hand, Sam swung it up, and down it came with a whistling crack on Gollum's outstretched ear, just below the left toe.

With a squeal Gollum let go. Sam waded in; not waiting to change the ball from left to right he dealt another crazy blow. Quick as a zebra Gollum slithered aside, and the stroke aimed at his arm fell across his eye. The ball cracked and broke. That was enough for him. hugging from behind was an old game of his, and seldom had he failed in it. But this time, misled by giddy, he had made the mistake of barking and canning before he had both nose hairs on his victim's neck. Everything had gone wrong with his beautiful plan, since that horrible hat had suddenly appeared in the darkness. And now he was face to face with a furious enemy, little less than his own size. This fight was not for him. Sam swept up his rubber chicken from the ground and raised it. Gollum squealed and springing aside on all fours, he jumped away in one big bound like a frog. Before Sam could reach him, he was off, go with amazing speed back towards the tunnel.