How to Write a Best Selling Fantasy Novel

[Elianna]

I have another rule:
The Evil Villian will often be related to the Loser/Hero, or else be an unfathomable evil who has no relations at all.

[Saraphim]

Ha! I love reading books like this. Here's how you can tell if the book in your hand follows the plot mentioned above.

~It has a picture of the Motley Bunch on the front, the women wearing a ridiculous amount of clothing and the young men (or elves) looking more ripped than justifyingly possible.

~Its got a title that either explains the Quest, or some random, foreboding words thrown together: "Night of Shadows" , "Death's Bane" , "Gems of the (Insert Fictional Country Name Here)"

~The synopsis on the back ends with a question, like "Will Falya defeat the Dark King of Girlock and save her people?"

~One of the critics has stated that the book is "...In the true spirit of Tolkien!"

[elronds_daughter]

Ha! that's great. maybe i should write something following all the rules, and see how it turnes out... nah. it'd take waaaay too long. i'm don't have that much paticence.

[Audreidi]

Yes, well, perhaps one could put a certain spin to it, and pass it off as a comedy of sorts. I might give it a shot this summer if I've nothing else to do. Wonderful list, Diamond18. Very funny...and pathetically true, in some cases of "original fiction" I've seen...

[Duncariel]

~It has a picture of the Motley Bunch on the front, the women wearing a ridiculous amount of clothing and the young men (or elves) looking more ripped than justifyingly possible.

Oh, wow. That is about as true about Fantasy novels (the really, odd, bad ones, at least), as you can get.

It is truly sad when you can read through this and go, "Oh my gosh, I just read a book exactly like that!", and it said New York Times Best Seller on the front. Do they write books like this just for the people out there who have trouble with reality? Or do they really think that they can write? Thank God for people like Tad Williams. If you haven't read any of his books, then you should. Second only to Tolkien..... truly. Although, it does say "A must read for Tolkien fans"...... Hmmmmmmmm...

[Diamond18]

I don't write epic fantasy (I classify my genre as "weird stuff") but I have to admit to a few of those --

Roughly square shaped worlds. Oh, shut up....

I do tend to kill almost everyone.

I don't like writing Hard Stuff, like battles, or making it really hard to get into "enemy strongholds" and the like.

And the Loser/Hero. All my characters are technically "losers", because I have always tried to let them be as human as possible. So I actually take issue with that "recommendation", since I believe the more messed up they are the better. Ah well. At least my "villains" are really more like tragic heroes to me, so I never fall into the nameless faceless motiveless Dark Lord pit.

Now Eomer, admit it, you think that "breaking rules" is a good thing in general.....

[Araréiel]

My stories always end up with a bunch of mushy stuff and the female trying to get into the pants of the male who, out of respect for his love for her (and fearing the wrath of her father because he mom's dead) restrains himself and turns her down like an idiot! Okay, so only my current story (already 156 printed pages on 8.5x11" paper, single-spaced in font 10 Times New Roman) has that mush.

This could be a challenge. Write a parody of fantasy novels. A novel idea! Okay, pardon my dumb pun.....