* * Revised Fall of Gondolin pt.5 -- >end [the remaining sections] * * - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Aiwendil · 02-27-2004, 09:19 AM

Maedhros: As Findegil said, the problem with leaving Squatter's line 5 is that it does not accomplish the needed transition from the present to the flashback. To keep that line 5, the transition would have to somehow be made in or before line 4.

I think that the best places for the transition are line 5 (as in my version) or line 6 (as in Findegil's).

A problem with line 5 is simply that "But my heart recalleth sea musics" (or whatever else we may substitute) is a complete fabrication.

But I am still hesitant to go with line 6. The transition still seems abrupt. Also, it makes the preceding lines completely irrelevant to the substance of the poem. One advantage of using line 5 is that we can make the transition through a comparison by Tuor of the "voices of the reeds" and the sea musics.

Findegil, you seem rather set on line 6. Can you identify other problems with using line 5 that I'm missing?

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02-27-2004, 09:19 AM	#1
Aiwendil Late Istar Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 2,224	Maedhros: As Findegil said, the problem with leaving Squatter's line 5 is that it does not accomplish the needed transition from the present to the flashback. To keep that line 5, the transition would have to somehow be made in or before line 4. I think that the best places for the transition are line 5 (as in my version) or line 6 (as in Findegil's). A problem with line 5 is simply that "But my heart recalleth sea musics" (or whatever else we may substitute) is a complete fabrication. But I am still hesitant to go with line 6. The transition still seems abrupt. Also, it makes the preceding lines completely irrelevant to the substance of the poem. One advantage of using line 5 is that we can make the transition through a comparison by Tuor of the "voices of the reeds" and the sea musics. Findegil, you seem rather set on line 6. Can you identify other problems with using line 5 that I'm missing?