The Barrow-Downs' Third Birthday Party and Downie Awards

[Diamond18]

After taking a record amount of time to down her orange juice, Diamond noted that it was no longer the most opportune time to be supping on citric acid. Juice is a morning drink! the well remembered oft repeated admonishment of her mother echoed in her ears, making her wonder why her head was empty enough to allow echoing. “I know,” she ascertained the reason speedily, “I haven’t had a pleasant, or even unpleasant, conversation in hours!”

She went to the bar and exchanged her empty orange juice glass for a shot of something stronger, and asked the bartender what he recommended. “I’ve got a bottle of ‘Mudwater here if you’re in the mood,” the bartended replied.

Diamond wrinkled her nose. “’Mudwater,” she intoned solemnly, “besides being the most potent alcoholic beverage known to Elves, has been known to erase system files from one’s computer. No, one should only drink ‘Mudwater if one

A) Has been double-decker-dingo-dog dared to do it.
B) Just had a traumatic emotional experience he/she/it would like to forget forever.
C) Has drunk every other drink know to men/elves/hobbits/dwaves/ents/orcs/trolls/dragons/maiar/valar/kelvar etc. and cannot get drunk on any of them anymore.
D) Is just really rather quite all-around very undeniably undoubtedly stupid.”

“What do you want, then?” the bored bartender asked.

“Give me a margarita with sugar,” Diamond decided. Then she mused (as she was wont to do), “This party is grand, and all, but I do so wish there was more to do than drink, eat, and watch others dance.”

Her drink was served to her, and she saw a likely candidate for conversation in the pot-bedecked figure of the Saucepan Man, standing shinily by the buffet. “Mirrorballs and Lava Lamps,” she ejaculated. “I’ve here for hours and haven’t exchanged blinding secrets with the Saucy Man. I simply must remedy that.”

[ May 03, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]