101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say

[Uialellethwen]

• Saruman (to Gandy) : Gandalf, my friend, I know absolutely nothing of the great evil that has obviously come from the Land of Shadow.
  Gandy: Really, friend?
  Saru: Yes... Oh, before I forget, I found one of the palantirs-
  Gandy: A palantir? Oh, many years have passed... All this time it has been right here infront of my very own over-sized-novelty nose?!?
  Saru: Maybe you need to destroy it. So how's Hobbiton? And Bilbo's party?
  Gandy: The Ring... I MUST HAVE IT! *grabs palantir and runs away. No break dancing takes place.*
  Saru: Hhm? All right then. *goes back to watching Martha Stewart and baking cookies and pies*

I'd add more, but my brain's dead from lack of sleep. I'm going to turn in now.