Sauron in his off hours

I think that Sauron would spend a lot of time on the phone with his designer and personal shopper. After all, this guy is eager to get his ring back so he can have a body again, and once he is, he's going to be one SHARP DRESSED MAN.

"No, I don't think so, on the horns. Lose the horns. I'm thinking, spikes. Like the top of Barad-Dur? Yes, everyone would know who I was, then. Not sure about the whole, cloak angle. Spikes and cloaks don't mix. Hold on, got another call coming in.

Hello. Is this Saruman? Look, I told you I wasn't goign to talk to you until you did something about those nails.

Hi. Sorry about that. Let's talk about this lapel thing....you sure that big ones are coming back in? Wouldn't do to be the Dark Lord that everyone snickers at....'