Funny lyrics that LOTR characters would never sing

[Tinuviel of Denton]

Well, this isn't precisely a parody, but it is definitely different from the original.

In My Own Little Corner, from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella

(The first part doesn't change, but the rest of it does. Drastically. But for those of you who don't know the song, here is the beginning as well.)

I'm as mild and as meek as a mouse.
When I hear a command, I obey.
But I know of a spot in my house
Where no one can stand in my way.

In my own little corner,
In my own little chair,
I can be whatever I want to be.
On the wings of my fancy I can fly anywhere
And the world will open its arms to me.

I'm a lovely elvish princess,
Or a Shire-maid.
I'm the bravest shieldmaiden in Rohan.
I'm a craftsman who has always had her jewels made,
By her own 'fiery spirit' in Aman.

I'm a Dwarf of the mountains,
My grand-sire is king, and my father is fearless in war.
Just as long as I stay in my own little corner,
All alone
In my own
Little chair.

[instrumental]

I can be whatever I want to be.
I'm a priestess of Umbar,
I'm a Queen in Gondor,
I'm a Maia dancing upon the sea.

I'm a princess who has gone to seek her lover.
He's a mortal man but he's the one for me.
So I've sent my guards into a peaceful slumber,
And I've climbed down by my hair from this tree.

We defeated a werewolf, I disguised as a bat,
And I faced the Dark Lord in his lair.
All the same, I'm back in my own little corner.
All alone,
In my own
Little chair.

(All of the replacements refer to specific canon characters, except for the Priestess of Umbar. I wonder if anyone can guess who . . .)

[Reprise (which has absolutely nothing to do with canon, and everything to do with the PPC)]

I'm in PPC headquarters of all places!
I'm slaying Mary-Sues, oh how fun.
And the t.error on their stupid little faces
Says to me, very clearly, job well done.

I am cruel and s.adistic to the Sues that I slay,
But to Canons, I'm gentle as can be.
And I don't plan to go back to my little corner.
I won't roam,
From my home,
PPC.

Yes, I'm strange. And quite proud of it.

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 9:31 AM December 26, 2003: Message edited by: Tinuviel of Denton ]

I laughed, I cried...ok, no crying but I laughed until tears were rolling down my cheeks!
THanks for the post. I really love it.