PJ on trial for 'Crimes against Tolkienity !

[Finwe]

Finwe: Permission to speak as an accuser, sir?


Judge: Permission granted.

Finwe: *stands up, and withdraws a sheaf of documents from her briefcase* I have here the transcripts of several telephone conversations between Peter Jackson and John Gilbert, the Film Editor. In these conversations, Mr. Jackson has implicitly authorized the complete and total removal of the Scouring of the Shire. I ask the court, how is it possible to remove one of the key scenes? For justification of his actions, in said telephone conversations, Mr. Jackson claims that he has "artistic license," and as such, has the right to cut scenes from the films to improve the "continuity." He claimed that the Scouring of the Shire would have detracted from the climax of the movie. As justification, he again presented "artistic license."

*Roars erupt from the Tolkien purist side of the room, while Peter Jackson and the rest of the team slump farther down in their chairs, muttering worriedly.*

Finwe: That is not all your Honor. I also have here the transcript of two separate conversations wherein is stated that the authorization for the removal of all Houses of Healing scenes between Lady Eowyn of Rohan and Lord Faramir of Gondor is given to the editing team. I bluntly ask you, your Honor and the rest of this court, will you put up with this affront to the Lady's honor? The Houses of Healing are an integral part of Eowyn's healing, and the fading of her love for Lord Aragorn. As she heals, she comes to fall in love with the Lord Faramir, and he with her. With the removal of these scenes, Peter Jackson insinuates that the Lady is nothing more than a common strumpet who quickly transfers her affections to a more willing man. Will we put up with such an affront to one of our most beloved characters? I think not. That is all I have to say, your Honor.

*sits back down*