Qs and As about FOTR (the movie)... but I only want WRONG answers

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

Its a long story.
Just outside Orthanc, as he was getting ready to attack, Treebeard tripped on his shoelace and soon began an Ent domino effect, each Ent falling over and bringing another down with it. The last Ent opened a cage of Saruman's 'special' pets, Orcs bred with rats who had rabies, who scurried around and bit Saruman. Saruman then bit the Witch-King, the beloved ruler of Gonder. Both Treebeard and Saruman were held responsible, though the Ents still maintain that it was all Saruman's fault.

[Nevtalathiel]

Questions people!!!

What did Sam do with Bill the pony when the Fellowship arrived at the gates of Moria?

[Susan Delgado]

Sam didn't want the bother of using his own feet, so he rode through Moria on Bill's back, despite the strenuous objections of every other member of the Fellowship. Bill had some troubles with the steep staircases and that bridge was a mite narrow for a pony, but he managed to make it all the way out to the other side. However, after their first night in Lothlorien, Bill had mysteriously disappeared and none of the elves would say why. Sam was always suspicious though, and never ever trusted another Elf as long as he lived.
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How did Bilbo and the Dwarves escape from the Green-Elves of Mirkwood?

[Anarya SilverBranch]

With the help of.... SUPERMAN!!! da da da!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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What color is Legolas's hair?

[Belegfanaion]

Legolas' hair changes colors like the seasons, as par for the course wih elves. In spring, his hair takes on a greenish tint due to the dye he soaks it in 'cuz everyone knows Elves are like rebellious teens in the spring!). In Summer, his hair returns to a brown like the dry dust of the desert. In Autumn, he dyes his hair again in streaks - some red here, brown there, black in between, yellow roots... - and in late October it all falls out to be regrown in Spring. Meanwhile, in winter, as he has no hair, the only thing to do is polish his head, making any sunlight coming off it reflect as white. Thus, when he is up in the trees of Lorien, he is camoflagued to all the men and dwarves below - they think he's a bald eagle! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Why are Hobbits so short?

[Lómelindi]

Hobbits were originally normal height, but when all the wars were going on (come on, there’s always a battle or war going on) the air became poisoned. The poisoned air became infused in fog, and this tainted fog drifted into the Shire where the hobbits breathed it, and the poisoned fog stunted their growth to exactly half their original height, hence their “alternate” tag of halflings. The hobbits never trusted the “Big People” ever again, because they blamed this occurrence on the Men.
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Why are Merry’s nose and chin crooked? (Anyone who saw FOTR more than once will have noticed this.)

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Because he was a crook, so he was crooked.
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How/was Sam related to Frodo(blood)?

[ May 03, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Hanna_Gamgee]

Sam and Frodo are brothers.

Who attacked Frodo in Mordor?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

His elementary teacher. On the last day of school Frodo put a whoopee cushion on his teacher's chair. He escaped his paddling. His teacher finally found him and gave him the spanking in wait for him.
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What was the mission of the Fellowship of the Ring?

[Lómelindi]

His agent, because after glowing critical reviews for Frodo's perfomance he's wondering why he isn't getting better movie roles.
(Sorry, Elijah.)
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Why does Aragorn have so many different names?

[Lómelindi]

Whoops…Gimli and I posted our answers to the same question at the exact same time!

So, um…I guess pick a question and go.

[Nevfeniel]

What was the mission of the Fellowship of the Ring?

They all had to find Mt. Doom and throw Ralph Bakshi's version of LotR into it to stop the evil. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Why does Aragorn have so many different names?

He has multiple personalities. Duh. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Why doesn't Gollum like the sunlight or moonlight?

[ElanorGamgee]

The sun and moon provide light for Gollum's groupies to find him. Whenever they see him they shriek and attack him, stealing everything he happens to be carrying or wearing at the time and forcing him to wear a loincloth and live in a smelly old mountain to hide. It was one of these groupies, an attractive hobbit named Bilba, who stole his Precious. "Nasssty fans, we hates them!"

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What was Smeágol's relation to Deágol?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

In the first grade, there was this girl he really liked. He was sneaking around her house trying to steal her diary to see if she liked him too. He accidentally sneezed, so quikly he hid in a bush. The girl wouldn't have caught him and he wouldn't have been greatly embaressed if it hadn't been for the sun reflecting of the unpowdered nose of a bird, right into the shadow where he was hiding, thus being caught. That is why he hates sunlight.
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What was gollum before he was brainwashed by the One Ring?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

In the first grade, there was this girl he really liked. He was sneaking around her house trying to steal her diary to see if she liked him too. He accidentally sneezed, so quikly he hid in a bush. The girl wouldn't have caught him and he wouldn't have been greatly embaressed if it hadn't been for the sun reflecting of the unpowdered nose of a bird, right into the shadow where he was hiding, thus being caught. That is why he hates sunlight.
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What was gollum before he was brainwashed by the One Ring?

[Cimmerian]

There were two question to go.
Here are the answers then -

What was gollum before he was brainwashed by the One Ring?
A tea taster for Galadriel.


What was Smeágol's relation to Deágol?
They were brothers, a part of the RingLing circus before they were expelled for calling each other precioussss.

Question : Of what merit did each member of the fellowship get chosen?


PS- Gimli, Elanor Gamgee's answer was way cooler [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[ May 04, 2002: Message edited by: Cimmerian ]

[Nevtalathiel]

Let's not get nasty!

Legolas was chosen because of his camouflage hair ability, which it was hoped he would teach the other members of the fellowship, Aragorn was chosen cos you can just tell by his looks that you need him on your quest, and also because Elrond wanted to keep him away from Arwen, Frodo went because he wouldn't let anyone else touch the ring. Sam had to go because he started crying and wouldn't let go of Frodo's trouser leg. Gandalf was just generally bossy, so no one dared tell him he couldn't go and Gimli, Merry, Pippin and Boromir were taken in case the rest of the fellowship ever ran out of food!

What was special about Bilbo's party?

[Nevfeniel]

What was special about Bilbo's party?

*singsong voice* Frodo got drunk! Heeheehee. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
What happened to Treebeard after everyone left? Was he lonely? Did he find an entwife?

[Lómelindi]

What happened to Treebeard?

Although he never found an Entwife, Treebeard became a major figure in Middle-earth's environmental scene, and went on to become the main political leader on the Middle-earth Green Party ticket.
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How did Aragorn first meet Arwen?

[Nevtalathiel]

He bumped into her at the beauty salon, while he was having his hair and beard trimmed and a manicure and pedicure. she complimented him on huis highlights and the rest is history.

What happened at the battle of the Pelennor Fields?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

At the battle of Pelenor Fields, Suron sent a bunch of bots to knock the tar out of Gondor. Unfortunetly, electricity hadn't been discovered yet, so his robots didn't work.
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Whom did Sam's eldest daughter's son marry?

[Susan Delgado]

Goldberry. She finally got tired of Tom's senseless rhymes and when she came acrossthis hobbit lad walking in the woods one day, she just up and left him!
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Who is Goldberry, anyway?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Goldberry is a dragon is disguise.
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What was the orgin of Gandalf?

Gandalf was sent to Middle Earth as a spokesperson for OMFWWU (old men for the wearing of women's underwear)but because of his silky robes everyone thought he was wizard except the elves, mithrandir means "cross dresser" not " Grey Prilgrim"
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What are Barrow Wights?

[ElanorGamgee]

The Barrow-Wights are fuzzy little critters that live in holes on the Barrow-Downs. They greet visitors with squeals of joy and nuzzle at their feet. Upon meeting them, Pippin begged Frodo to let him keep one, but the older Hobbit refused, saying that he'd end up taking care of it as soon as Pippin lost interest. The poor, heartbroken tween pouted all the way to Bree.

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How did Pippin almost give away Frodo's identity at the Prancing Pony?

[Lómelindi]

Pippin yelled out Frodo's name while he and Merry were fighting over who would get dibs on sharing the room (and bed) with him.
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What did Pippin see in the Palantír?

[Dimwilwareniel]

...Its hard to say actually...Pippin saw Frodo being hypnotized by Sam.

Sam has just told frodo that his belt from Lothlorien is a snake and now Frodo has grabbed onto it 'Steve the Crocodile Hunter Style' [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] and he is saying: "Don't worry Sam! I've seen this once before on TV! All you have to do is grabb the snake and break its neck...before it bites you." But the problem is Frodo has just come out of his trace and realized that the belt is still on Sam. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

--------------------------------------------How did The Watcher in fornt of the Mines of Moria wake up?

[Susan Delgado]

Aragorn got bored watching Gandalf try to figure out the password and wandered off, as he is wont to do, and accidentally tripped on a little critter lying on the path. The little creature was so annoyed at this that it magically tranformed itself into an orc 17 feet tall (its second form). In terror, Aragorn started blubbering and begging it not to eat him. Disgusted at the pathetic show this "valiant" man was putting on, the giant orc told him the password and threw him back toward his companions. It then transformed back to the little furry creature and swam off into the lake. Aragorn told the password to Merry, the first person he came across, and Merry in turn suggested it to Gandalf. Aragorn never told anyone about his run-in with the furry orc-creature, but Merry often wondered why Aragorn had told him the password instead of just telling it directly to Gandalf.
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Who was Sauron's original master?


btw, welcome to the Downs, Dimwilwareniel [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: Susan Delgado ]

[Cimmerian]

Gobo Fraggle!

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What were the Nazgul?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

The Nazgûl are the nine founders of Naughty and Zany Unicorn Lodge.
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Who's was the mother of Elrond?

[Nevtalathiel]

Elrond's mother was a balrog, but she left when he was very young. He was scarred for life by this event, but everything was solved when Gandalf discovered the Moria balrog was Elrond's mother and got them to reunite.

What happened to Beren and Luthien?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Beren and Luthien were best friends. Once they were going joy riding, the car crashed and they both died.
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What was the mission of the party of dwarves, Gandalf, and Bilbo in the Hobbit?

[Dimwilwareniel]

Their task is to travel into the world of monster rancher and find the pheonix with Holly and Genke. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Why does Gollum like fish so much? Why doesn't he like little carrotses instead? They're supposed to give you better night vision!

[ElanorGamgee]

Gollum's granny always made him eat all his vegetables and he developed a hatred for them, especially carrots. When he wouldn't eat them, she would give little Smeágol's fish to Deágol, who would gobble it down right in front of him (Hey, you didn't think that Gollum only strangled Deágol for the Ring, do you? There was definately some resentment there). In the cave Gollum ate fish all the time without his carrots or any other vegetable in rebellion, although there was no one around to actually witness it.

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What did Bilbo say to Smaug that made the dragon so angry?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

You're so stupid you got hit by a parked car(lame, I know...)!
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Whom did Farmir marry?

[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[Lómelindi]

LIV TYLER!!!! (Because she decided Faramir was oh so much cuter than her grungy still-not-King-yet Ranger dude boyfriend.)
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What happened to Merry and Pippin after drinking Treebeard's Ent-draught?

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Thet started to shrink, their hair started to fall out, and they got really weak.
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How did Frodo escape from Cirith Ungol?

[Aosama, the Wandering Star]

With the help of his best friend... Superhobbit! And his trusted sidekick Bilbo the Pony, Frodo turned invisible by stealing the Dark Lord's Dark Makeup (he was going through this goth phase at the time) and applying some, (alledgedly trying to get ready for a date, he wouldn't say who with, though) and Superhobbit carried Frodo out whilst riding on Bilbo the Pony. When they got out, they broke into a rendition of their hit single, "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" in honour of the help of the simple young pony.

Why do the Ents hate Saruman?

[Cimmerian]

Saruman gave the Ent-wives day jobs at Orthanc.


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What was the Last Alliance and how did it fare?

[Nevtalathiel]

The last alliance was the last mission ever undertaken by superhobbit and bilbo the pony. Unfortunately, bilbo the pony was by this time rather old and could no longer fly, so the two saviours of the universe ended up plunging to their deaths in the large blanchmange they were supposed to be defeating.


What did Pippin see in the Palantir?