Eorling Mead Hall Planning/Discussion Thread - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

littlemanpoet · 04-21-2007, 10:41 AM

I was going to let it go, but I really can't. Foley, it's like this. Regardless of how you see Falco, or how Thornden sees him, Falco does not see himself as 'the serpent'. He is convinced that he's right, and that Thornden has no right whatsoever to do what he did. So in his eyes, it's not a temptation but a right. Therefore, he's not going to try and help Javan "do wrong" without disobeying "the letter of Thornden's law"; instead, he'll try to convince Javan that Thornden had no right to "hijack" his pony. So I need something changed in your post, which of course will change the rest of your post:

“You have a horse, don’t you?” Falco prodded.

needs to be changed to:

"I'm a guest here, young man," said Falco, "and your brother had no call to jail me nor my pony. So he's gone against the Eorl's word in this, see, and you'd be doing no wrong by letting me have what's mine by rights."

What you do with Javan from there is, of course, up to you, but what you have in that post will have to be altered. Sorry (a wee bit).

04-21-2007, 10:41 AM	#11
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	I was going to let it go, but I really can't. Foley, it's like this. Regardless of how you see Falco, or how Thornden sees him, Falco does not see himself as 'the serpent'. He is convinced that he's right, and that Thornden has no right whatsoever to do what he did. So in his eyes, it's not a temptation but a right. Therefore, he's not going to try and help Javan "do wrong" without disobeying "the letter of Thornden's law"; instead, he'll try to convince Javan that Thornden had no right to "hijack" his pony. So I need something changed in your post, which of course will change the rest of your post: “You have a horse, don’t you?” Falco prodded. needs to be changed to: "I'm a guest here, young man," said Falco, "and your brother had no call to jail me nor my pony. So he's gone against the Eorl's word in this, see, and you'd be doing no wrong by letting me have what's mine by rights." What you do with Javan from there is, of course, up to you, but what you have in that post will have to be altered. Sorry (a wee bit).