What do you "assign" to the Shire?

[The Saucepan Man]

Spotted Dick is a desert. Not a human!

Dick wiped the suet from his brow as he scaled yet another great sponge dune.

“Custard, custard …” he muttered incoherently through parched lips. A shimmering on the horizon caught his eyes. Was it the fabled Sticky Toffee Oasis, or merely a mirage?

He had been wandering the great Pudding Desert for days on end and currantly had little raison to expect rescue. Some earned their bread and butter crossing its great expanse but for Dick this was no mere trifle.

Happily, salvation came only hours later when a passing caravan of caramel traders spotted Dick.

Nevermind I take it your not from Great Britian?