Eorling Mead Hall Planning/Discussion Thread - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

littlemanpoet · 01-27-2008, 03:11 PM

Nogrod, you have done admirably in characterizing Eodwine. However, I don't really want Eodwine to come off as having completely "lost it". Therefore, where you have "said not a word" (or something to that effect), I need Eodwine instead to come back out of himself and say something self-conscious but to the point. How about this: Eodwine blinked hard once and cleared his throat. "I am sorry, Stigend. Your news has brought back nightmares from the War, if you understand me."

Also, you have Stigend talking to Thornden as if Eodwine is standing there having lost consciousness. I would appreciate it if you could make it a three-way conversation toward the end of your post.

I would not ask for these changes except that I have a rather refined idea of how Eodwine is processing this, and I need your post to reflect that.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Threaded Mode

01-27-2008, 03:11 PM	#15
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	Nogrod, you have done admirably in characterizing Eodwine. However, I don't really want Eodwine to come off as having completely "lost it". Therefore, where you have "said not a word" (or something to that effect), I need Eodwine instead to come back out of himself and say something self-conscious but to the point. How about this: Eodwine blinked hard once and cleared his throat. "I am sorry, Stigend. Your news has brought back nightmares from the War, if you understand me." Also, you have Stigend talking to Thornden as if Eodwine is standing there having lost consciousness. I would appreciate it if you could make it a three-way conversation toward the end of your post. I would not ask for these changes except that I have a rather refined idea of how Eodwine is processing this, and I need your post to reflect that.