What do you assign to Mordor?

[Oddwen]

Swallowing pills.

I used to have trouble with that, I found that drinking through a straw can help.

...realising that you are living Groundhog Day on a grand timescale, that you aren't learning from experience and are making just about the same mistakes without the excuse of the foolishness of youth. In fact you are getting sillier and less perceptive.

UGH seconded.

I'd also like to assign tendonitis. I've lost most of the muscle mass on my right arm, can't do much anything practical with it, and am getting frustrated at work from seeing things that need to be done but cannot do.

And on top of that, I am continually reminded that it's something that happens mainly to people living well past my time of life.

Stand up straight, kids! Don't trust your body, it hates you!

[Elfchick7]

I assign three tests in one day. One week is not enough time to learn a whole chapter of Chinese and a month's worth of international politics!

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

UGH seconded.

Since I was your age when I wrote this old diary, I'd say you can still plead youth

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Elfchick7

I assign three tests in one day. One week is not enough time to learn a whole chapter of Chinese and a month's worth of international politics!

I think you'd hate it more if you had three tests, two of them your major subjects, on your birthday. But that's part of being a student... my dad always tells me, there'll come a point in my life that I'd be laughing about exams.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Every single one of my final exams this semester are on the same day. I can't wait...

[Kath]

Just ... just having a bad day, being shouted at for no real reason, being belittled. I thought I'd got over this earlier but I guess not.

[Groin Redbeard]

Being the only member here on the Downs. It is an eery feeling knowing that you're alone.

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

Being the only member here on the Downs. It is an eery feeling knowing that you're alone.

Groin, it's just because you're online at 3am when all the sensible people sleep (or usually sleep would maybe be more truthful, but anyway )...

Since I'm chatting here, I might have to assign something. The problem is that I don't feel very unhappy right now. But maybe the recent problems in the internet accesses all over Finland do deserve a nomination...

[Groin Redbeard]

Originally Posted by Thinlómien

Groin, it's just because you're online at 3am when all the sensible people sleep (or usually sleep would maybe be more truthful, but anyway)...

It was only seven o' clock here in Texas! Are you saying that we aren't sensible? Because if you are you are calling all Americans sensless, which would make all the sensible people be in Europe (a scary thought)! How insulting can you get Thinlomien?

I assign people who twist other peoples words.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I assign dirty dishes being left in the sink. Not necessarily just dishes that aren't clean, but dishes that have stuff lurking on them, such as plastic wrap.

Because once in a while it's fine to clean up after the people you live with, but who wants to reach into a sink with kidney beans clogging the drain to try to get plastic that's become covered in whatever was in the standing water--

*gags*

I hate living with people who are less tidy than me.

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

It was only seven o' clock here in Texas! Are you saying that we aren't sensible? Because if you are you are calling all Americans sensless, which would make all the sensible people be in Europe (a scary thought)! How insulting can you get Thinlomien?

I assign people who twist other peoples words.

What about Africa? Or Asia? Or Oceania? Or Antarctica with the penguins?
I assign people who forget world outside the Western World does exist.

[Inziladun]

I will assign a very much uninvited guest I am presently hosting: influenza.

[Groin Redbeard]

Originally Posted by Thinlómien

I assign people who forget world outside the Western World does exist.

Wow, I have been indirectly assigned to Mordor twice now. Wait, Europe is part of Western Civilization.

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

I will assign a very much uninvited guest I am presently hosting: influenza.

Hmph. Same here. I'd not be surprised if someone had painted a red cross on our front door, not that I've been out of it since Friday night...

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

I'd assign having to come home from vacation. Even with a sprained foot. (And boy, am I grateful I didn't react to the flu shot I had three days before we left. )

On a corollary, I would also assign having to go in for a cholesterol blood draw three days after said vacation. The draw itself is bad enough (one of those things they always want to do at the crack of dawn), but with it coming three days after a lot of meals that were not the usual diet, I just know things will be out of whack.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Thinlómien

What about Africa? Or Asia? Or Oceania? Or Antarctica with the penguins?

*cough*or Australia*cough*

...And I will second Ibrin in assigning blood tests to Mordor. My arm's still bruised....

[Morthoron]

I assign the 'Guitar Hero' X-Box game. I was over a friends house and watched his teenage son play the game for a few hours. As a lifelong guitarist, what got me is that, rather than wasting time on the game, Junior could have spent the time actually learning to play a real guitar, and perhaps...oh, I don't know...get a girlfriend?

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

*cough*or Australia*cough*

I doubt this will make it any better for you, but I count Australia as a part of Oceania...

I assign wet socks. It's ridiculous how uncomfortable such a little thing is.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

I will assign a very much uninvited guest I am presently hosting: influenza.

Same here. And on the first day of second semester, I had to come to class with a very red nose and a bag of tissue.

Originally Posted by Morthoron

I assign the 'Guitar Hero' X-Box game. I was over a friends house and watched his teenage son play the game for a few hours. As a lifelong guitarist, what got me is that, rather than wasting time on the game, Junior could have spent the time actually learning to play a real guitar, and perhaps...oh, I don't know...get a girlfriend?

Now that reminds me of a line from Love Actually, even ugly musicians manage to find girlfriends. But seriously, I don't think thinking too much about that game and its likes is a pleasant one... personally, it makes me kinda depressed, seeing kids playing quasi-drums and guitars and their ears and fingers don't get to appreciate making their own music.

[Kath]

I assign the 'Guitar Hero' X-Box game. I was over a friends house and watched his teenage son play the game for a few hours. As a lifelong guitarist, what got me is that, rather than wasting time on the game, Junior could have spent the time actually learning to play a real guitar, and perhaps...oh, I don't know...get a girlfriend?

Pfft - real guitar hurts! My brother is learning to play it and I had a go and my fingers went numb! I'd choose Guitar Hero any day.

I assign regrets, nasty things they are, creeping up on you when you don't expect it!

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Kath

Pfft - real guitar hurts!

Ah, but there is a an unforseen benefit to playing guitar (other than as a magnet for the opposite sex): you get calluses on your fingertips, which is really important for the macho putting-out-lit-candles-with-your-fingers ploy. I have never been hurt once.

[Gwathagor]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

I assign the 'Guitar Hero' X-Box game. I was over a friends house and watched his teenage son play the game for a few hours. As a lifelong guitarist, what got me is that, rather than wasting time on the game, Junior could have spent the time actually learning to play a real guitar, and perhaps...oh, I don't know...get a girlfriend?

Some of play Guitar Hero AND have girlfriends.

[Gwathagor]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Ah, but there is a an unforseen benefit to playing guitar (other than as a magnet for the opposite sex): you get calluses on your fingertips, which is really important for the macho putting-out-lit-candles-with-your-fingers ploy. I have never been hurt once.

I have to agree, that sounds incredibly manly. Maybe I'll take up the guitar after all.

[Mithalwen]

but that isn't actually impressive.

Even my superfine, celtic, non callused bare fingertips can put out a candle without pain (you just have to lick them first). Though it is very much in the category of things that I can do but don't since you can either blow them out or use the snuffer.

And personally the guitar is a huge turn off*.... main problem is that just about every man thinks he can play it and very few of them can... the piano now

*I am prepared to make an exception for Alex Kapranos

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

And personally the guitar is a huge turn off*

Ditto. I still have tragic memories of a guy trying to seduce me with promises to play me Red Hot Chile Peppers songs with an acoustic.

[Lalwendë]

Guitars are just the modern day equivalent of wielding a ruddy big sword.

I'd generally assign those sorts of games like Guitar Hero and these dancing things where you have to hit the buttons in the right order and at high speed anyway....because I'm rubbish at them. And the tracks on GH are cheesey.

I assign when your nostrils are so sore from blowing your nose that you can't touch them without crying.

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil

Ditto. I still have tragic memories of a guy trying to seduce me with promises to play me Red Hot Chile Peppers songs with an acoustic.

Oh dear.. could have been worse .. maybe *thinks bad folk duo in Four Weddings and a Funeral singing "I can't smile without you"*

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Oh dear.. could have been worse ..

He was the best friend of the guy I'd just broken up with.

[Mithalwen]

Maybe not then.... although if we are going to get competitive being the best friend of your post grad course's man magnet was jolly ... and knowing that every time a new guy spoke to you the third question would be "Is Amanda seeing anyone?"

[Eönwë]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

I assign when your nostrils are so sore from blowing your nose

Seconded. Just managed to recover from that.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

knowing that every time a new guy spoke to you

Knowing that every time a new guy speaks to you, his intentions are probably dirty filthy naughty.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

And personally the guitar is a huge turn off*.... main problem is that just about every man thinks he can play it and very few of them can...

That may be so, but from personal experience I have yet to meet a member of a band who did not have a date after the show.

Crass and boorish, I know, but when one is not blessed with James Bondish savoir-faire and good looks, one exploits one's abilities as best they can.

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Guitars are just the modern day equivalent of wielding a ruddy big sword.

Touche. And I am just as fascinated by a well-crafted sword as I am a beautifully-wrought guitar; in fact, I begin to drool when seeing a patinaed Martin acoustic or a well-worn Fender Telecaster (my weapons of choice). Maybe I just drool because I am a brutish man. Ugggh.

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Oh dear.. could have been worse .. maybe *thinks bad folk duo in Four Weddings and a Funeral singing "I can't smile without you"*

Hmm, if you want to go that way, I would assign "The Wedding Song (There Is Love)." I've been performing for weddings as an instrumentalist and/or singer (even composer) since that song was written, and I loathed it the first time I heard it. But just about every single bride wants it, and I can't understand it for the life of me. There are so many other songs with nicer tunes and lyrics that make more sense, but do they pick those? No.....

And I fear posting my feelings about "Guitar Hero" would violate forum rules.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Ibrîniðilpathânezel

And I fear posting my feelings about "Guitar Hero" would violate forum rules.

I assign trying to play Guitar Hero and having your friend's twelve year old brother look at you pityingly and tell you how bad you are at it.

[Durelin]

To counter some attacks on the male gender (), I assign living in an all girls suite. Too lacking in testosterone. Yes, I'm serious.

And personally a ruddy big sword has its attraction...

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Originally Posted by Durelin

And personally a ruddy big sword has its attraction...

I very much agree.

[Lalaith]

I am prepared to make an exception for Alex Kapranos

Ah, but he is clever with it, innit?
I assign guitar solos, as we are on the subject. I have no problem with guitars, men, women or goats playing guitars....but solos are tiresome in the extreme.

But chiefly, and the reason I am here tonight, is to assign finger wounds.
Specifically, slicing savoy cabbage with a very sharp knife while watching Strictly Come Dancing, and cutting right through the thumb and nail, vertically, about half an inch down.
My parents were staying and both are doctors, so I didn't have to go to casualty, they could deal with it on the spot. Bloody lucky really because everyone else in the house was just jumping around going "yuk, ew, argh".
Oh and because there are so many nerve endings in the fingers you go into shock when you wound them. As I did. For most of the evening. *shudder*

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

But chiefly, and the reason I am here tonight, is to assign finger wounds.
Specifically, slicing savoy cabbage with a very sharp knife while watching Strictly Come Dancing, and cutting right through the thumb and nail, vertically, about half an inch down.

Oh, I'll second that one, and third, and fourth it. I did something quite similar a few days before Christmas last year, and it's only the most recent in a series of such incidents between me and instruments with edges. I've sliced off the tip of a finger with a rotary cutter, snipped the webbing between fingers with industrial shears, punched clear through nail and finger with sewing machines at least three times (of course the needle broke on the way back out, not in), had a rusty needle lodge itself until a fingernail while packing up my late mother's sewing supplies... Yes, finger injuries are incredibly painful, and I'm hard put to decide if the pain of the wound was worse than the pain of the novocaine injections on the palm of the hand and between the fingers. I understand your family's feelings of "eewh" quite well. And you were lucky to have skilled help on hand. In the rotary cutter incident, I had to wrap up the hand, clench it into a fist to keep pressure on the wound and hold it over my head while driving one-handed to the emergency room (the nearest of which was about 15 miles away). Maybe it's not such a bad thing that I don't a lot of sewing, these days...

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

That may be so, but from personal experience I have yet to meet a member of a band who did not have a date after the show.

An aspect which Guitar Hero strangely ignores...

(No, I have never played it, but my cousins do.)

Anyway, I certainly can't complain about the strange attraction us girls have to musicians... otherwise I doubt my parents would have got together at all.

Lalaith and Ibrin.... Owwww. That's all I can say...

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

That may be so, but from personal experience I have yet to meet a member of a band who did not have a date after the show.

This may well be true. I know of some women who will give any muso a chance on the grounds that they should have a sense of rhythm and be good with their hands.

And personally a ruddy big sword has its attraction...

I hear you sister

Fea - some people might assign that to the Shire

As for hand injuries .. I nearly fainted when I got a fine needle in my hand - exsquiste pain - aggers. The bloodiest injury was probably when I gashed my wrist on a friends's central heating thermostat - rushing for my mobile I had tripped over the stairgate and catching may hand on this probably stopped me actually falling and breaking my neck. No medics on hand but friends military husband was not fazed by the blood and patched me up while I took the call (which I knew was life or death type urgent else I might not have been so clumsy).