Sauron on Trial! - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-09-2006, 10:19 AM

Well, here is another game for you to get involved in! It's quite simple, really.

Imagine, for a moment, that Sauron had been captured rather than destroyed. His armies are all gone or dead or melted. He is put on trial and has decided to represent himself.

So, in a trial, what would Sauron say or do at his trial?

Here's what I think:

- Is that a wig?

- What murders?

- Yeah, and I’ll kill you too.

- Wait - did I say guilty?!? Guilty means ‘didn’t do it’, right?

- Where did you buy your hammer, your honour? I find you can do a lot more damage with a claw-head hammer... oops.

- I just did it for a laugh. Where’s your sense of humour?

- Twanngggg! Bwaaaaaaang! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanggggg!

What do you think?

ninja91 · 11-09-2006, 10:55 AM

Sauron: Sorry, Elessar! You got the trick instead of the treat!

Volo · 11-09-2006, 12:10 PM

"Get real and join my cause!"

"I like Pink Floyd."

"Immortality for free, no pun intended."

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-09-2006, 12:20 PM

"Alright, I'll admit I did it, but only if you dance like a duck!"

"Come on! Don't tell me you never wanted to play toss the Dwarf into Mount doom?"

Holbytlass · 11-09-2006, 12:41 PM

Your Honor, I was under the influence (of the ring), therefore it is manslaughter not murder!

ninja91 · 11-09-2006, 02:23 PM

"Well, someone had to do something to help spark the greatest story of all time...

mormegil · 11-09-2006, 02:24 PM

--It's only because I'm Maia isn't it?

--No it was the evil orc henchmen that were really at fault. What could I do against him...he gave such vicious noogies.

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-09-2006, 02:24 PM

- I think he'd put his hands over his ears and close his eye(s?) saying, "La la la! I can't hear you! I can't see you! You don't exist! You can't hurt me! La la la la!"

- Shout "Wahey!" as he comes in

- He'll keep telling the Judge to "Live long and prosper"

- Say "Nice day for it." every 10 minutes

- "Everybody look at me for a minute - I’m going to do a special dance."

- "This is boring."

- "I’m cool!"

- "I’m glad I’m not dead!"

High King Fingolfin · 11-09-2006, 05:06 PM

"I was just restoring the indegenous Orcs to their rightful place, your honor."

Volo · 11-10-2006, 07:32 AM

"Ok, I was pretty violent, but so is he *points at John Cleese*. And what? You hate me, but you love him? So, no wonder I'm violent!"

Farael · 11-10-2006, 08:46 AM

FREEEDOOOMMMMMM (Braveheart-style)

Lalwendë · 11-10-2006, 04:31 PM

Sauron, well-known fan of Brit comedy, would resort to some of his fave catchphrases at his show trial. When asked if he was the Maia who created the One Ring he would try to bluster his way out of it and eventually have to say: "Yeah, but no, but yeah but..."

Then when he was found guilty he'd stick out his bottom lip and say: "Am I bovvered? Look, yeah, am I bovvered? Face? Bovvered?"

The Elf-warrior · 11-15-2006, 11:12 PM

He would urge the Orcs to stop fighting among themselves and focus on the common goal of repelling the Numenorean invaders.

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-17-2006, 06:42 AM

Sing "Always look on the Bright side of life!" really loudly.

Smoke an incredibly large cigar while putting his feet up on a table.

Keep insisting that it was all the fault of his invisible brother 'blauron' who told him to do things.

11-24-2006, 11:34 AM

Judge Manwe " Sauron, you have been charged with mass murder and killing innocent civilians.

( in a whiny voice) "Morgoth told me too!!!!"

Nimrodel_9 · 11-24-2006, 11:47 AM

Ha ha! You have nowhere to put the handcuffs!

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-29-2006, 10:07 AM

3 words...

Clay

Pigeon

Shooting.

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-24-2006, 11:45 AM

After the long, long list of charges has been read out (taking at least an hour), Sauron laughs and says, "That's not even half of what I did! ... Ooops."

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-14-2006, 01:46 AM

You fascists always pick on us drunks!

doom_hammer · 12-14-2006, 03:47 PM

the lepricorn made me do it.

The 1,000 Reader · 12-17-2006, 03:35 PM

"Why are you looking at me? It was Morgoth and the Nazgul and the Orcs that did everything! I just sat in a tower!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-23-2006, 02:04 PM

"Well, I don't know about you lot, but I need a drink. Where's the bar?"

Morgoth's Apprentice · 05-19-2008, 06:04 PM

If Sauron managed to get himself captured and on trial....:

1. he'd blame his life problems on Morgoth
2. he'd say he was under the influence
3. after all the charges were read, he'd be like....is that all you've got?
4. he'd die trying to escape
5. after all is said and done, he'd be sentenced to the Void to be laughed at by Morgoth for all eternity

11-09-2006, 10:19 AM	#1
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Sauron on Trial! Well, here is another game for you to get involved in! It's quite simple, really. Imagine, for a moment, that Sauron had been captured rather than destroyed. His armies are all gone or dead or melted. He is put on trial and has decided to represent himself. So, in a trial, what would Sauron say or do at his trial? Here's what I think: - Is that a wig? - What murders? - Yeah, and I’ll kill you too. - Wait - did I say guilty?!? Guilty means ‘didn’t do it’, right? - Where did you buy your hammer, your honour? I find you can do a lot more damage with a claw-head hammer... oops. - I just did it for a laugh. Where’s your sense of humour? - Twanngggg! Bwaaaaaaang! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanggggg! What do you think? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 11-09-2006 at 12:19 PM.

11-09-2006, 12:10 PM	#3
Volo Silver in My Silent Heart Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: the great beauty Posts: 1,611	"Get real and join my cause!" "I like Pink Floyd." "Immortality for free, no pun intended." __________________ Fenris Wolf The EVEN NEWER Barrow-Downs Photo Page

11-09-2006, 12:20 PM	#4
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	"Alright, I'll admit I did it, but only if you dance like a duck!" "Come on! Don't tell me you never wanted to play toss the Dwarf into Mount doom?" __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-09-2006, 02:24 PM	#7
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,651	--It's only because I'm Maia isn't it? --No it was the evil orc henchmen that were really at fault. What could I do against him...he gave such vicious noogies. __________________ “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

11-09-2006, 02:24 PM	#8
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	- I think he'd put his hands over his ears and close his eye(s?) saying, "La la la! I can't hear you! I can't see you! You don't exist! You can't hurt me! La la la la!" - Shout "Wahey!" as he comes in - He'll keep telling the Judge to "Live long and prosper" - Say "Nice day for it." every 10 minutes - "Everybody look at me for a minute - I’m going to do a special dance." - "This is boring." - "I’m cool!" - "I’m glad I’m not dead!" __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-09-2006, 12:41 PM	#5
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Your Honor, I was under the influence (of the ring), therefore it is manslaughter not murder!

11-09-2006, 05:06 PM	#9
High King Fingolfin Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Where the Wargs thrive, a.k.a. Madison, WI Posts: 437	"I was just restoring the indegenous Orcs to their rightful place, your honor." __________________ "Outside of a Warg, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a Warg, it's too dark to read." - Wargo Marx

11-10-2006, 07:32 AM	#10
Volo Silver in My Silent Heart Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: the great beauty Posts: 1,611	"Ok, I was pretty violent, but so is he points at John Cleese. And what? You hate me, but you love him? So, no wonder I'm violent!" __________________ Fenris Wolf The EVEN NEWER Barrow-Downs Photo Page

11-10-2006, 08:46 AM	#11
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,538	FREEEDOOOMMMMMM (Braveheart-style) __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

11-10-2006, 04:31 PM	#12
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Sauron, well-known fan of Brit comedy, would resort to some of his fave catchphrases at his show trial. When asked if he was the Maia who created the One Ring he would try to bluster his way out of it and eventually have to say: "Yeah, but no, but yeah but..." Then when he was found guilty he'd stick out his bottom lip and say: "Am I bovvered? Look, yeah, am I bovvered? Face? Bovvered?" __________________ Gordon's alive!

11-15-2006, 11:12 PM	#13
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	He would urge the Orcs to stop fighting among themselves and focus on the common goal of repelling the Numenorean invaders. __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

11-17-2006, 06:42 AM	#14
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Sing "Always look on the Bright side of life!" really loudly. Smoke an incredibly large cigar while putting his feet up on a table. Keep insisting that it was all the fault of his invisible brother 'blauron' who told him to do things. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-24-2006, 11:34 AM	#15
Turin Mormegil Guest Posts: n/a	Judge Manwe " Sauron, you have been charged with mass murder and killing innocent civilians. ( in a whiny voice) "Morgoth told me too!!!!"

11-24-2006, 11:47 AM	#16
Nimrodel_9 Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Utah Posts: 734	Ha ha! You have nowhere to put the handcuffs! __________________ .:A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart:.

11-29-2006, 10:07 AM	#17
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	3 words... Clay Pigeon Shooting. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-24-2006, 11:45 AM	#18
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	After the long, long list of charges has been read out (taking at least an hour), Sauron laughs and says, "That's not even half of what I did! ... Ooops." __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-14-2006, 01:46 AM	#19
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	You fascists always pick on us drunks! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-14-2006, 03:47 PM	#20
doom_hammer Haunting Spirit Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 73	the lepricorn made me do it.

12-17-2006, 03:35 PM	#21
The 1,000 Reader Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: I don't know. Eastern ME doesn't have maps. Posts: 527	"Why are you looking at me? It was Morgoth and the Nazgul and the Orcs that did everything! I just sat in a tower!" __________________ "And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that." -A History of Villains

12-23-2006, 02:04 PM	#22
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	"Well, I don't know about you lot, but I need a drink. Where's the bar?" __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

05-19-2008, 06:04 PM	#23
Morgoth's Apprentice Animated Skeleton Join Date: May 2008 Location: In Angband, chillin with Morgoth and learning how to take over the world Posts: 38	If Sauron managed to get himself captured and on trial....: 1. he'd blame his life problems on Morgoth 2. he'd say he was under the influence 3. after all the charges were read, he'd be like....is that all you've got? 4. he'd die trying to escape 5. after all is said and done, he'd be sentenced to the Void to be laughed at by Morgoth for all eternity