Please critique this - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

11-25-2001, 09:36 PM

Critique this poem about the Dunedain.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

Witch King of Angmar · 11-25-2001, 09:48 PM

I really likes it, I thought it was very good.

11-25-2001, 10:25 PM

Well, I chose it as a poem for a presentation in English II Honors and I am supposed to have other people to critique, I figured who better than you all.

Maybe you could say a little more?

Also what do you think is the most important word in it?

red · 11-26-2001, 12:08 AM

Most important word: Renewed.

My two cents. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

-réd

11-26-2001, 12:38 AM

I have long finished this up. Red, you picked Renewed as did I. It is a very important word in the poem. Good call!

Eowyn of Ithilien · 11-26-2001, 02:13 AM

my instant thought was renewed...we're all brilliant [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Witch King of Angmar · 11-26-2001, 10:27 PM

Renewed is the most important word, but personally I prefer "reforged."

11-26-2001, 10:53 PM

Agreed, but I am not seeing it in there [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Nice word though.

Elrian · 11-26-2001, 11:21 PM

Renewed does seem to jump out at you. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Manwe · 11-30-2001, 02:15 AM

'The crownless again shall be king', is this true? Is Aragon realy a king before he get the crown? Or does it means that a man without crown will get a crown and then become king? If that's the case I don't think he's first.

onewhitetree · 11-30-2001, 01:25 PM

I agree about "renewed," but another word that should at least be considered, for many of the same reasons, is "shall".

Also one should note the repetition of words related to light and warmth, especially compared to the overall message of the poem.

Oh dear, I'll stop before I get too into this. We don't want any overanalysis, by any means!

[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Tarlondeion Of Gondolin · 12-08-2001, 02:31 PM

yeh renewed really fits but I don't reforged has quite the same ring to it.

Renewed shall be blade that was broken
Reforged shall be blade that was broken

see renewed is better

(ps. shouldn't there be a the in there)

Elanor · 12-08-2001, 06:40 PM

I agree about reforged/renewed. Reforged has a purely literal meaning, while renewed also carries other connotations of new strength, new life, new beginnings, that make the word more powerful and interesting.

The more I read it though, the better the poem seems - I had never really thought about it properly before. Thanks for bringing it up!

Serevian The Ranger · 12-11-2001, 04:51 AM

It is a good poem the begining sounds like it is about stuff that hardlyor never true or happens just like at the end a king the was uncrowned becoming king agian that would a good poem for the book too

Lindolirian · 12-11-2001, 06:00 PM

I thinK Renewed and Woken are the most important words... they convey the meaning of the entire poem.

silme-ranaa · 12-23-2001, 11:48 PM

i think it's the best poem of all in lotr.

11-25-2001, 09:36 PM	#1
The Chosen One Guest Posts: n/a	Please critique this Critique this poem about the Dunedain. All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.

11-25-2001, 09:48 PM	#2
Witch King of Angmar Animated Skeleton Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Angmar; Mordor; I follow the will of Sauron Posts: 26	I really likes it, I thought it was very good. __________________ 'The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set. The red fires shone between it and the mantled shoulders vast and dark.' Witch King of Angmar as described at the Siege of Gondor

11-26-2001, 12:08 AM	#4
red Spirit of Mischief Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Land of the free and home of the brave Posts: 366	Most important word: Renewed. My two cents. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] -réd __________________ "Cats are like greatness: Some people are born into cat-loving families, some achieve cats, and some have cats thrust upon them." -William H. A. Carr

11-26-2001, 02:13 AM	#6
Eowyn of Ithilien Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Australia Posts: 277	my instant thought was renewed...we're all brilliant [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] __________________ But of bliss and glad life there is little to be said, before it ends; as works fair and wonderful, while still they endure for eyes to see, are their own record, and only when they are in peril or broken for ever do they pass into song.

11-26-2001, 10:27 PM	#7
Witch King of Angmar Animated Skeleton Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Angmar; Mordor; I follow the will of Sauron Posts: 26	Renewed is the most important word, but personally I prefer "reforged." __________________ 'The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set. The red fires shone between it and the mantled shoulders vast and dark.' Witch King of Angmar as described at the Siege of Gondor

11-25-2001, 10:25 PM	#3
The Chosen One Guest Posts: n/a	Well, I chose it as a poem for a presentation in English II Honors and I am supposed to have other people to critique, I figured who better than you all. Maybe you could say a little more? Also what do you think is the most important word in it?

11-26-2001, 12:38 AM	#5
The Chosen One Guest Posts: n/a	I have long finished this up. Red, you picked Renewed as did I. It is a very important word in the poem. Good call!

11-26-2001, 10:53 PM	#8
Mini Goat Guest Posts: n/a	Agreed, but I am not seeing it in there [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Nice word though.

11-26-2001, 11:21 PM	#9
Elrian Eldar Spirit of Truth Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Land of the FREE, Home of the BRAVE Posts: 794	Renewed does seem to jump out at you. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] __________________ ~Call me a relic, call me what you will. Say I'm old fashioned , say I'm over the hill. That old whine ain't got no soul. I'll stick to Old Toby and a Hobbit hole.~

11-30-2001, 02:15 AM	#10
Manwe Haunting Spirit Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Ilmarin, Taniquetil Posts: 98	'The crownless again shall be king', is this true? Is Aragon realy a king before he get the crown? Or does it means that a man without crown will get a crown and then become king? If that's the case I don't think he's first. __________________ by the way my name is Manwë, not Manwe

11-30-2001, 01:25 PM	#11
onewhitetree Seeker of Syntax Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: The Scene of the Crime Posts: 264	I agree about "renewed," but another word that should at least be considered, for many of the same reasons, is "shall". Also one should note the repetition of words related to light and warmth, especially compared to the overall message of the poem. Oh dear, I'll stop before I get too into this. We don't want any overanalysis, by any means! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] __________________ onewhitetree (also known as Kate) Well, I'M BACK.

12-08-2001, 02:31 PM	#12
Tarlondeion Of Gondolin Haunting Spirit Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Gondolin the fair Posts: 94	yeh renewed really fits but I don't reforged has quite the same ring to it. Renewed shall be blade that was broken Reforged shall be blade that was broken see renewed is better (ps. shouldn't there be a the in there)

12-08-2001, 06:40 PM	#13
Elanor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: my own corner of the Shire Posts: 316	I agree about reforged/renewed. Reforged has a purely literal meaning, while renewed also carries other connotations of new strength, new life, new beginnings, that make the word more powerful and interesting. The more I read it though, the better the poem seems - I had never really thought about it properly before. Thanks for bringing it up! __________________ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Henny Youngman (1906 - )

12-11-2001, 04:51 AM	#14
Serevian The Ranger Animated Skeleton Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 40	It is a good poem the begining sounds like it is about stuff that hardlyor never true or happens just like at the end a king the was uncrowned becoming king agian that would a good poem for the book too

12-11-2001, 06:00 PM	#15
Lindolirian World's Tallest Hobbit Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Where the view is long Posts: 2,117	I thinK Renewed and Woken are the most important words... they convey the meaning of the entire poem. __________________ 'They say that the One will himself enter into Arda, and heal Men and all the Marring from the beginning to the end."

12-23-2001, 11:48 PM	#16
silme-ranaa Animated Skeleton Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Malaysia Posts: 28	i think it's the best poem of all in lotr. __________________ No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. Sir Isaac Newton Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. unknown