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Old 07-09-2020, 04:17 AM   #35
Galadriel55
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huinesoron View Post
Oh! Is that what that means? Both translations use 'fate', which I originally rendered as 'doom' before cross-threading to 'oath'. 'Earth' is a totally different concept. Let's see now:

One single hope for the House of the Houseless
Sworn is the Oath, though all Arda reject us!


With 'Houseless' indicating both their dispossessed status (the honour of their House is lost) and the fact that, per the musical, five/six of the eight men of House Feanor are dead (=disembodied, houseless spirits) by this point.
That is brilliant!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hui[/quote
Yeah, that's more of those flowing vowels; he also doesn't leave a space between this line and the next, so both have lost some of their syllables ("стали ангбандских" is a key offender here).
Hmm, that half actually came out fine, it was the first half that was stretchy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hui[/quote
Checking the script, they should really be a single line (like the "We vow to you, Feanor" line next verse). How well does something like this work?

The Oath is stronger than kinship, than Enemy's grim and iron abode

I've revised it to fit the rhyme scheme and all. I'm positive I'm still missing syllables, but I can't parse how many.
ДРЕВ ня я КЛЯТ ва силь НЕ е родст ВА креп че СТА ли анг БАНД ских во РОТ

VS

THE oath is STRONGer than KINship than ENemy's GRIM and (downbeat) Iron aBODE

That one can fly. It's a very small stretch and the melodyy can gloss over.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hui[/quote
So we're looking for a rhyme with road/blood/abode, right? (Though all three end in different consonants in the Russian, and 'умрет' has a different vowel.) "Code" may actually work - no, not like that - but like this:

An ancient oath is leading our House down this road
An ancient oath has bound us together with blood
The Oath is stronger than kinship, than Enemy's grim and iron abode
But this is our fight!
This is our fight!
This is our fight!
Morgoth's death is our code!


As in "chivalric code".

Alternately, and I can't believe I missed this:

And the jewel-thief our foe!

hS
The rhyming scheme is actually slightly different in this stanza. It goes this way:

Rod (read "rot", because end consonants often blend with their pair)
Chuzhoy
Vorot
Boy x3
Umryot

It's different from the variation after the Oath, which is AAB(near rhyme A)x3B.

The confusion is that the letters е and ё are often not differentiated. At some point people decided that when printing, it would save costs to drop ё from the available alphabet, so most adult books will only have e. And when people write, they may not do the dots on top.
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Last edited by Galadriel55; 07-09-2020 at 04:20 AM.
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