I keep having distance meetings with failing technology every time I start typing a post. It's taking me forever to write anything!
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Originally Posted by Huinesoron
I wasn't trying to. I only noticed the internal rhyme a couple of verses later, so this one was a retrofit. Does the rhyme still fall in the right place with your extended line?
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I think it should. You're rhyming "forest" and "daughter", right? If they should match up with "suprugoy / lyubimoy", that still leaves 5 syllables available for the last line. Besides, Thingol's internal rhymes aren't very strong or consistent; f.ex. in his second stanza the "leftover" line after the meh internal rhyme is 6 syllables. You tend to shift the rhymes to later in the line, which works just as well and even better, to be honest. Russian Thingol is not big on the internal rhyming, if it's there it's a bonus.
[quote=Hui]Yeah, I needed the rhyme, and it sounds like Comedy Thingol's style of hyperbole. Also, y'know... they hung out in the woods together for
months.
Thingol and Melian hung out in the wood for years, but they will have us believe that they spent the whole time staring into each other's eyes. ^.^
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Originally Posted by Hui
He probably does, but "the last trump[et]" is a heavily Christianised term. (Of course, horns calling you to death isn't exactly Tolkien either - both the Valaroma and the horns of Gondor and Rohan are calls to victory - but we work with what we have.)
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I didn't recognize the Christian image. I was imagining more something like Boromir's dying horn. But in any case, I like your version of the line better, and it references Finrod's horns calling to battle earlier.
Do you think it will be more Tolkienish with "I hear the last horn's dying call"?
Squeeeee! Now I have to watch it and do a sing-along before my shift starts.
