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Originally Posted by Huinesoron
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Wheeeeee! Perfection. ^.^ Thanks for adjusting them.
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Originally Posted by Hui
I've also slapped myself on the forehead and adjusted the wounds line. My wounds you have opened afresh this hour scans just as well and actually works as English, and I don't know why it took me so long to see it. (I think I was fixated on the 'in' being essential.)
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*Yoda shakes head in a bog somewhere, watching another Yodaism flicker and go out*
I mean, it sounds perfectly normal, and it scans well. I remember flipping this line back and forth, trying to get it to fit, but somehow this did not occur to me either. I don't know what I was fixated on, maybe having a breath where the phrase "pauses". Regardless, I salute your epiphany.
Meanwhile, I have been studying Heart a little bit (yes, studying, because I really don't have a great sense of it), and realized we haven't really followed the rhyming scheme or meter in a couple places. However, on further consideration, I think that it's not critical for us to follow them exactly, it should still sound ok. The meter might be a little weird, but might not... I will have to sketch, and then we'll see. It's a weird song - it's like it wants to repeat, but it actually doesn't have that many truly repetitive sections. It's weird. But what I can say is I think I've been underappreciating Amarie in that actress's performance, biased by either V1 or her handful of nonsensical lines. She is actually really good, and sings very well, and I like her music.