[Galadriel55]

BEREN:
Why, my King, are you not asleep tonight?
FINROD:
Do not call me "king", it's a foregone title.
The long years have scattered like leaves in flight,
And I walk through them as a blind man, sightless.

I destroyed my love, I now comprehend.
You opened afresh my wounds in this hour. [or "my heart"? I wish both could fit into this line.] [or, for better rhythm, "my wounds you afresh opened in this hour"?]
I'm prepared to fight to the bitter end
'Gainst the Lord of Fetters in northern tower!

An ancient oath is leading my House down this way
It chased me down from my nest and familiar hedge. [ehhh?]
For the Oath's sake I passed through ice and sea, I have lived as a castaway,
But duty must be *
Duty must be
Duty must be -
Never revenge!

The haven's ruins [ashes?], abandoned home,
And dawn in a new terrain,
And heart that is no longer grieving what's done -
But nothing has been in vain!


FINROD / BEREN (echo)
Untrembling ** I gaze into fate's eyes

I gaze into the eyes of fate

And there is nothing I would change in my doom,

Unyielding is its path above

But only thanks to your account tonight

But only now I comprehend:

I see at last that love indeed knows no rules!

There is no boundary to love.

Within your words a saving thought is born

Amid the grey mists and the snows

And closure to a vow left unaccomplished.

It glimmers with eternal light.

My [our] grief is not that we must be forlorn, ["are here forlorn? are now forlorn?" "Must" makes it sound like it's just another part of their destiny earlier, which I like]

***

My [our] grief is that our song was left unfinished...







Just as it was difficult initially to find the perfect fit for "Lord of Fetters in northern tower" and "love knows no rules", now it's difficult to find the right fit for the second set of lines that are supposed to rhyme with them. Having to reference earlier songs is both less work and more work.

* "Duty this is", to use your expression, is much too Yoda. But syllable count doesn't allow for anything grammatically correct in English.

** May I please? I know it's not a real word, but it somehow makes sense here. Unless you have a "real word" suggestion that fits well here?

*** The Libretto has a third Beren line here, something akin to "To speak of it there are no words...". But V2 Beren doesn't sing this line, probably to leave Finrod's recurring motif unmixed. Are you leaning either way with regards to including this line, or a variation on it?



And a note I forgot to include in the Tinkering post:
I changed "courage" for "valour of kings of the past" in the Epilogue. I saw it in the V2 subs and thought it was the more accurate translation.


Holy bananas! Just two songs left! (Plus a million little edits)