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Old 12-24-2008, 11:56 PM   #1482
Morthoron
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
 
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Editorial Reply

Dear Editorial Staff:

I must highly protest your use of an alleged 'poem' by that arrogant Dark Elf fellow in your Christmas edition of the 'Downer. Such impertinence is uncalled for, and sullies the Holiday tradition! This is a time of year for rampant spending and teaching children the essential tools of business: greed, dishonesty and ingratitude. There should be no levity or parody surrounding such a blessed event as the largest quarterly household expenditure on retail merchandise for the fiscal year.

As far as the parody itself, I prefer the original "Night Before Christmas" as it sets the proper marketing tone with dreams of toys swimming about in addled TV-addicted children's heads. It is a veritable toy commercial read by parents to their children at bedtime, and it doesn't cost advertisers a red cent! And what established poet rhymes particular with vehicular? It is preposterous nonsense!

Sincerely,
Morthoron the Moriquendi
The Barrow Downs, NW Arnor
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