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Originally Posted by Huinesoron
How to tell we've been doing this a long time... what was the reason we did that, again?
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I don't recall there was any specific reason, only that we were cherry-picking when to follow V1 or V2 where they differed, and I blame this one on Blonde Melian's flashing eyes.
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Originally Posted by Hui
Ehhhh. I mean, it's a perfectly fine line, but I don't think it fits the stanza at all. That's a wonderfully poetic stanza, very abstract, and then she ends with 'you've been a bit silly'. Plus, "lost the battle" is too close to "won the battle but lost the war" - it not only sounds wrong, but also implies that he'll win in the end.
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Isn't this kinda what Melian means though - you'll lose the war? Great, you got rid of Beren, but actually you'll lose the war/battle in so many places (Luthien, entangling with the Silmaril, Thingol's own death and the Fall of Doriath, possibly other things too). Is there any way to make him lose the war? I guess death-blow sort of speaks to that, but weirdly so; it mainly focuses on Thingol's own fate, and as you say, this is a grander stanza encompassing the fate of Beleriand.
Of the options so far, I think I prefer reckless over bitter (bitter he will be when he realizes fell doom has fallen on the king; "fetch me a Silmaril" or "please marry my daughter" isn't really bitter). And I agree it should be THE death-blow, neither yours nor mine.
And in your reckless words the death-blow
You lost the war, you wrought the death-blow
Your reckless words have lost the [??? monosyllable adjective perhaps] war
And your defeat lies in in your [rash/own] words
Alternatively, if the world falls down in RUIN, rather than shadow, then you can make the reckless words be his UNDOING. Though initially I was thinking of ruin/defeat/etc as potential replacers for losing the war. I guess along similar lines, if the world falls down in TURMOIL, Thingol could be bringing about a DOWNFALL.
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Originally Posted by Hui
Finrod grieves after learning of Barahir's death. A scene which doesn't actually appear in the Silm or the Lay, though it must have happened, and so inspired here directly by the Leithian Script |
Hey, nice! And nice play. I'm reading through it, it has some fascinating moments.
