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Why would you die from eating a sandwich?
587. Run in front of a Warg pack.
587. Proclaim that Morgoth is in fact the supreme lord of all and that Manwe's the one who's been making all the trouble
588. During the Council of Elrond, while they are arguing about what to do with it,
jump up on your seat, yell out "OPERATION OVERLORD" at the top of your lungs, and try to take off with the Ring.
589. Take the Ring from Frodo and toss it in the river
590. Try to convince an Elf to forgo lembas and drink Red Bull instead
591. Give Gollum Red Bull
592. Give Shelob Red Bull
593. Give the Balrog a Red Bull (it gives it wings!!)
more later...
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