[Findegil]

Okay here comes the rest of my remarks (if I am not interupted while doing this post):

Page 34:
§2: I have commented on this in my last post. In the moment the complte § is deleted but I would rather delet only the first sentece and change the years to months:
"{Now the years fare by, and egged by Idril Tuor keepeth ever at his secret delving: but seeing that the leaguer of spies hath grown thinner Turgon dwelleth more at ease and in less fear. }Yet these years are filled by {Melko}[Morgoth] in the utmost ferment of labour, and all the thrall-folk of the Noldo[r] must dig unceasingly for metals while {Melko}[Morgoth] sitteth and deviseth fires and calleth flames and smokes to come from the lower heats, nor does he suffer any of the Noldo[r] to stray ever a foot from their place of bondage."

§3: This is the creation scene of the mechanical monsters. As the text stands it fits our porposal to change type 2 to animal firedragons. But the last conclusion of the discussion was to let all the created monsters be what they seemed to be and only implicit suggest that animal firedragons were in the Battle of Gondolin. Thus the § must be changed to:
"Then on a time {Melko}[Morgoth] assembled all his most cunning smiths and sorcerers, and of iron and flame they wrought a host of monsters such as have only at that time been seen and shall not again be till the Great End. Some were all of iron so cunningly linked that they might flow like slow rivers of metal or coil themselves around and above all obstacles before them, and those were filled in their innermost depths with the grimmest of Orcs with scimitars and spears; others of bronze and copper were given hearts and spirits of blazing fire, and they blasted all that stood before them with the terror of their snorting or trampled whatso escaped the ardour of their breath; yet others were creatures of pure flame that writhed like ropes of molten metal, and they brought to ruin whatever fabric they came nigh, and iron and stone melted before them and became as water, and {upon}[with] them {rode}[moved] the Balrogs {in hundreds}; and {these}[those dragons of fire] were the most dire of all those monsters which Melko[Morgoth] devised against Gondolin."

Page 35:
§3: "... ; and by reason of the folly of certain of the quarrymen, and yet more by reason of the loose words of certain among his tin to whom word was somewhat unwarily spoken by Tuor, he gathered a knowledge of the secret work and laid against that a plan of his own." must be "... and yet more by reason of the loose words of certain among his kin to whom word was somewhat unwarily spoken by Tuor, ..." but as fare as I could find the discussion ended with the proposal to skip Meaglins knowledge of the secret way following QS30. Thus leading to "...{; and by reason of the folly of certain of the quarrymen, and yet more by reason of the loose words of certain among his kin to whom word was somewhat unwarily spoken by Tuor, he gathered a knowledge of the secret work and laid against that a plan of his own}."

Page 36:
§1: "... and of these, dragons of many and dire shapes {were} new devised for the taking of the city." I am at a lose here. Why was this "were" skipt? Isn't it needed for garmatical reason?

§3: "... polished surfaces of their accoutre- ment." must be "... polished surfaces of their accoutrement."

Page 37:
last §: "... and exceedingly proud, b and he shouted ..." the underlined letter (in the pdf it looks like a thorn rune) must be delete.

Page 38:
§6: at the end of the § the double quote is missing.

Page 40:
§5: "... See before us the accursed ones who for ages have tormented the children of the {Noldoli}[Noldor], ..." Ages are a long time. We can either change it too years or centuries or we must include the elves captured in Cuivienen which would mean we had to change Noldoli to Elves.

Page 42:
§2: "Fearful too they were for that {slaughter}[victory of] Rog had done {amid}[to] the {Balrogs}[Balrog], ..." Is it corret to that some one had done a vitory to someone? If so we must change "victory to" to "victory that". But I don't think that is gramaticaly correct. In Addition, since no Balrog was killed we can stick to the plural here. I would change to: "Fearful too they were for that {slaughter}[victory that] Rog had done amid the Balrogs, ..."

Page 43:
§1: "... one of those brazen snakes heaves against the {western} [eastern] wall and a great mass of it shakes and falls ..." I have some time ago asked why this change from west to east was done, but the question got lost in the much more pressing theme of the mechanical monsters. But I still can't see any reason to change this. The whole battle is still as it was fought from north to south, only the Pass of the Eagles cleft is shifted.

Page 44:
§2: "... bore from that hattle Ecthelion ..." must be "... bore from that battle Ecthelion ..."

Page 45:
§2: "But now the men of {Melkor}[Morgoth] have assembled their forces, and seven dragons of fire are come with Orcs about them {and Balrogs upon them} down all the ways from {north, east, and west}[south, west, and east], seeking the Square of the King." The change of the directions is out dated I think. In addition the last Version of this passage I could find reads: "But now the men of {Melkor}[Morgoth] have assembled their forces, and seven dragons of fire are come with Orcs about them {and Balrogs upon them}[and a Balrog] down all the ways from north, east, and west, seeking the Square of the King." But we need not skip the plural of Balorgs. (When I think about it the number of seven type 3 dragons corrosponds very nicely to the 7 Balrogs proposed by Tolkien and left still alive by our edeting.) I would lean too: "But now the men of {Melkor}[Morgoth] have assembled their forces, and seven dragons of fire are come with Orcs[ and Balrogs] about them {and Balrogs upon them} down all the ways from north, east, and west, seeking the Square of the King."

Page 48, §7 & §8 & Page 54 §1:
Here it comes to the Way of Escape. Antoines version is undecided wether to have the Way of Escape openable or closed for ever. I searched the forum and couldn't find a vote or any other decision made. Thus we are still open to do with it as we want, if I have not missed some thing. As Lindil did, I lean to an openable Way of Escape.
In Addition I think we have forgotten to put the closing of the way into the text. It must be put in before the wedding of Tour and Idril since that took place after Húrin went from Angband. Thus I would put it as it is in Sil77:
Page 26:
§1 & §2:

§18 Then Tuor's heart was heavy, and Voronwë wept; and Tuor sat by the great fountain of the king and its splashing recalled the music of the waves, and his soul was troubled by the conches of Ulmo and he would return down the waters of Sirion to the sea. But Turgon, who knew that Tuor, mortal as he was, had the favour of the Valar, marking his stout glance and the power of his voice sent to him and bade him dwell in Gondolin and be in his favour, and abide even within the royal halls if he would, [for Tuor was held in honour, for his kindreds sake]. FG-TG-01{
§ 19} Then Tuor, for he was weary, and that place was fair, said yea; and hence cometh the abiding of Tuor in Gondolin.

§19a FG-TG-01.5 <Sil77 But in the warning of {the Vala he}[Ulmo Turgon] heard again the words that were spoken before the departing Noldor on the coast of Araman long ago; and the fear of treason was wakened in Turgon's heart. Therefore in that time the very entrance to the hidden door in the Encircling Mountains was caused to be blocked up; and thereafter none went ever forth from Gondolin on any errand of peace or war, while that city stood.>

§19b Of all Tuor's deeds among the Gondolindrim the tales tell not, but 'tis said that many a time would he have stolen thence, growing weary of the concourses of folk, and thinking of empty forest and fell or hearing afar the sea-music of Ulmo, had not his heart been filled with love for a woman of the Gondolindrim, {and she was} [Idril Celebrindal, the] {a} FG-TG-02 daughter of the king.

Page 51, §2 & Page 52 §1:
"... for there the path is narrow, and of the right or westerly hand a sheer wall rises ...
...
... The moon about that hour rose above the pass, and the.gloom somewhat lifted, for his pale light filtered into dark places; yet it lit not the path for the height of the walls. ..." Well, this was my own fault, when I suggsted the changes for the Eagles cleft. If the fugetives are going from south to the north a wall on their right hand must be east of them. The underlined period between the and gloom in the second passages must be a space. In addition it is interisting to observe that we have a nice oppotunity to korrekt an internal error of the text. Since the moon rises in the east the wall must be east of the path. Thus we will not change "right" to "left" but "westerly" to "easterly".

Page 54:
§2: "... but running clear again above the Pools of Twilight{, even ..." This does not fit the later geography were the Umboth Muilin were above the Falls of Sirion. I suppose we change it to: "... but running clear again above the [Land of Willows]{Pools of Twilight, even ..."

Page 55:
§2: "{Now the folk that had passed into the Eagles' Cleft and who saw the fall of Glorfindel had been nigh eight hundreds - a large wayfaring, yet was it a sad remnant of so fair and numerous a city.} But they who ..." Why was the first part deleted? The Reason given is chronology, but reduce the number of sick and wounded fugetivs from 800 to 548 it needed more time than we have between the attack at midsummer and the depature from Nan-Tathren in the next spring.

still §2: "Nor {Bablon, nor Ninwi, nor the towers of Trui, nor} all the many takings {of Rûm} that {is} greatest among Men, ..." I think we left out a verb in this half sentence. I suggset: "Nor {Bablon, nor Ninwi, nor the towers of Trui, nor} all the many takings {of Rûm} that {is}[were] greatest among Men, ..."

§3: (plain text, for better reading): "...; and fair among the Lothrim Eärendil grows in the Ilse of Sirion in the snow-white stone the house of his father, ..." I don't think that ws intended, I think at least the underlined "the" must go.

That's it. All the rest of the text belongs rather to the next chapter or is at least discussed thereunder.

Respectfully
Findegil