Oh good catch Fin! I have a few points.
First, I would make this slight change for smoothness of transition:
Quote:
... It was thus a piece of singular good fortune for Gollum that the Nine Walkers arrived when they did.>
HR-SL-07b <HR text B Meanwhile, In the panic of the first assault on Osgiliath, when the Witch-king was allowed to reveal himself briefly in his full terror, the Nazgūl crossed the bridge at night and dispersed northwards.> Thus Sauron tested ....
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Second, in this narrative you've made, the Nazgul search the Vale of Anduin twice. Is this what Tolkien intended? It makes no sense to me that they would search the Vale of Anduin twice, especially since they find nothing both times.