Regarding Fin's response to Arcus' first three additions, it is true that Tolkien moved toward a much more structured and delineated approach for this chapter (Elizabeth Whittingham has a good discussion of this in her "Evolution Of Tolkien's Mythology: A Study of the History of Middle-earth"). Maybe we could introduce the lesser spirits later? In Chapter 1, which is where it seems the descriptions of the dwellings were moved? I haven't reviewed that chapter yet, I will see if it makes sense there.
What about the other addition Arcus suggested in 1?
Quote:
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Vala-0.245 <MT Varda was the most foresighted of all the Valar, possessing the clearest memory of the Music and Vision in which she had played only a small part as actor or player, but had listened most attentively.>
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This looks good to me.
4) I have problems with this addition. The idea that "all
must bow before her" (emphasis mine) and that she is the "mistress of death" does not seem to fit with her character in the revisions, in which she becomes the goddess of pity and compassion and strength and wisdom.
5) and 6) I think these additions work well, especially if these other names are used later.
Regarding
Vala-07.2 why not just:
Quote:
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Vala-07.23b{(sc.} He was the greatest created power <moved under Eru.>{)
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This is more of a stylistic change, but it seems like consolidating the two sentences is the simplest solution to avoiding redundancy and keeping both ideas.
Regarding
Vala-07, the comment about Olorin being humble, I think we should remove the apostrophes as we are not quoting anybody.