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Old 01-15-2019, 07:40 PM   #6
gandalf85
Wight
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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1) Do we have a convention for how we indicate historical in-universe works? In this chapter,

Quote:
The Chronicle of Cirion and Eorl
is used without any quotation marks or italics. Skimming through some of the Histories, it seems like Lay of Leithian and Lay of Earendil when referring to the in-universe works are italicized. The Chronicle of Cirion and Eorl appears to be an in-universe work, so I think we should italicize it.

2) Typos:

A small typo:

Quote:
The forefathers, of Eorl claimed descent ...
There shouldn't be a comma.
Quote:
...since .the great loops of the Anduin
The period should be removed.

Quote:
...that assail Gondor in the last days of the Kings.
"assail" should be "assailed" for consistent tense.

Quote:
for He rode back with the éoherë at the right hand of Eorl
The "H" in "He" should be lowercase.

Quote:
Eorl, led his men in pursuit
The comma should be removed.

There are two instances of the word "yon" which should be "you".

3) The last sentence of RE-SL-19 is:

Quote:
Nonetheless, even when it had become the site of a great beacon, the Hill of Anwar was still a place of reverence to Gondor and to the Rohirrim, who named it in their own tongue Halifirien, the Holy Mount.
Is this the point in the chronology when the beacon on the hill was made? If so, I think the two paragraphs concerning the beacon (RE-SL-11) should be moved after this sentence. This also makes the story of Eorl more continuous and flow better.

4) The beginning of RE-SL-20 is:

Quote:
With regard to Middle Men {Faramir}the Men of Gondor spoke mainly of the Rohirrim
In "Of Dwarves and Men" this sentence comes in a discussion of different types of men. The phrase "with regard to" feels out of place here. I propose something like:

Quote:
With regard to the term ["]Middle Men["]
5) There are two small additions from the "Making of Appendix A: (III) The House of Eorl" in HoME 12 we could add:

Quote:
The invaders {overran}had overrun Calenardhon RE-SL-10.1<The Making of Appendix A: The House of Eorl , the great plains in the north of the realm.>
Quote:
Eorl led his men in pursuit, and so great was the fear that went before horsemen of the North that the invaders of the Wold were also thrown into panic RE-SL-10.3<The Making of Appendix A: The House of Eorl {, and the Riders hunted them over the plains of Calenardhon.} [.] In the Great Battle of the Field of Celebrant the Easterlings and the Orcs were utterly defeated and the horsemen of Eorl pursued them over the plains of {Calenardon} [Calenardhon] until not one remained.>

Last edited by gandalf85; 01-18-2019 at 07:48 AM.
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