[gandalf85]

First of all, I just wanted to say that you guys have done an impressive amount of work collecting together all of the writings about a particular subject and an incredible job in preparing these chapters. I feel kind of bad since you guys have done 99% of the work, and I'm basically just nitpicking. That being said, here are my comments:

1) In the second paragraph (I have bolded the section I wish to discuss):

CGC-SL-01<The history of Galadriel and Celeborn
The building of the chief city of Eregion, Ost-in-Edhil, was begun in about the year 750 of the Second Age CGC-SL-02{ [the date that is given in the Tale of Years for the founding of Eregion by the Noldor]}. News of these things came to the ears of Sauron, and increased the fears that he felt concerning the coming of the Númenóreans to Lindon and the coasts further south, and their friendship with Gil-galad ...

In UT, "these things" is referring to the founding of Eregion, the friendship of the Elves of Eregion and the Dwarves of Khazad-dum and the building of Ost-in-Edhil. In this draft, the only one of these that is mentioned is the building of Ost-in-Edhil. Therefore I propose the change:

CGC-SL-01<The history of Galadriel and Celeborn
The building of the chief city of Eregion, Ost-in-Edhil, was begun in about the year 750 of the Second Age CGC-SL-02{ [the date that is given in the Tale of Years for the founding of Eregion by the Noldor]}. News of {these things} this came to the ears of Sauron, and increased the fears that he felt concerning the coming of the Númenóreans to Lindon and the coasts further south, and their friendship with Gil-galad ...

2) Is there a consistent rule on when Elvish words are italicized? It seems that they are italicized when there is a discussion of the origins/etymology of the word itself. If so, then the draft I received from ArcusCalion should have a few more words in the footnote of the third paragraph italicized: namely Lórinand, Lindórinand and Lothlórien.

3) Even with a sub-heading and a break at the end, the "Elessar" section still feels really out of place. Even though it seems to be in the right place in text in terms of timeline, it really has no bearing on the events later in the chapter. It is abrupt to go from Sauron to the Elessar and back to Saruon. I propose we put "Elessar" at the end of the section; it contains a few references to her using the Elessar to make the land fair around her, and I think this fits after her taking up rule in Lórinand. In addition, I think this part of the "Elessar" text:

The other tale runs so: that long ago, ere Sauron deluded the smiths of Eregion

fits better after the discussion of Sauron deluding the smiths of Eregion.

4) I propose a re-ordering of the texts to make it flow better. There is a mention of Sauron being named Annatar early on, then later in the draft it describes the names he took and explains what Annatar means again. The idea that Sauron anticipates the Istari is espressed twice at two different points. I propose the following (the parts I have added are in bold):

CGC-SL-12.5 <CG Galadriel, striving to counteract the machinations of Sauron, was successful in Lórinand; while in Lindon Gil-galad shut out Sauron's emissaries and even Sauron himself CGC-SL-13b {[as is more fully reported in Of Rings of Power (The Silmarillion p. 287)]}> CGC-SL-04b <ORP {Only to Lindon he did not come} , for Gil-galad and Elrond doubted him and his fair-seeming, and though they knew not who in truth he was they would not admit him to that land. But elsewhere the Elves received him gladly, and few among them hearkened to the messengers from Lindon bidding them beware; for Sauron {took to himself the name of Annatar, the Lord of Gifts, he} adopted a specious fair form{, a kind of simulated anticipation of the later Istari} and a fair name: Artano ‘high-smith,’ or Aulendil, meaning one who is devoted to the service of the Vala Aulë{.}[,] CGC-SL-17.5 {(In Of the Rings of Power, p. 287, the name that Sauron gave to himself at this time was}[and] Annatar, the Lord of Gifts {; but that name is not mentioned here.)}. CGC-SL-18 {The note goes on to say that} {In Eregion} {Sauron} He posed as an emissary of the Valar, sent by them to Middle-earth (thus anticipating the Istari) or ordered by them to remain there to give aid to the Elves. Galadriel was not deceived, saying that this Aulendil was not in the train of Aulë in Valinor, but this is not decisive, since Aulë existed before the 'Building of Arda,' and the probability is that Sauron was in fact one of the Aulëan Maiar, corrupted 'before Arda began' by Melkor. CGC-SL-19 {"With this compare the opening sentences in Of the Rings of Power: "Of old there was Sauron the Maia. ...In the beginning of Arda Melkor seduced him to his allegiance."}] {for Sauron took to himself the name of Annatar, the Lord of Gifts, and they} They had at first much profit from his friendship...

Everything related to Sauron's fair form, fair names and him being an emissary of the Valar is grouped together. This better sets up why the elves of Eregion trust him. I also think this re-ordering helps a later section flows better (the parts I have removed are in bold):

The mysterious power of hostility, to Elves and Edain, was perceived soon after the year 500, and among the Númenóreans first by Aldarion towards the end of the eighth century (about the time when he established the haven of Vinyalondë CGC-SL-17 {, p.185)}. But it had no known centre, for Sauron endeavoured to keep distinct his two sides: enemy and tempter. When he came among the Noldor he adopted a specious fair form, a kind of simulated anticipation of the later Istari and a fair name: Artano ‘high-smith,’ or Aulendil, meaning one who is devoted to the service of the Vala Aulë{.}[,] CGC-SL-17.5 {(In Of the Rings of Power, p. 287, the name that Sauron gave to himself at this time was}[and] Annatar, the Lord of Gifts {; but that name is not mentioned here.)}. CGC-SL-18 {The note goes on to say that} Galadriel was not deceived, saying that this Aulendil was not in the train of Aulë in Valinor, but this is not decisive, since Aulë existed before the 'Building of Arda,' and the probability is that Sauron was in fact one of the Aulëan Maiar, corrupted 'before Arda began' by Melkor. CGC-SL-19 {"With this compare the opening sentences in Of the Rings of Power: "Of old there was Sauron the Maia. ...In the beginning of Arda Melkor seduced him to his allegiance."}] {Sauron} He used all his arts upon Celebrimbor and his fellow-smiths, who had formed a society or brotherhood, very powerful in Eregion, the Gwaith-i-Mírdain

I think "[the hostility] had no known centre" flows well into Celebrimbor forming the Gwaith-i-Mirdain since it sets up why he trusts Sauron.