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Old 06-23-2018, 10:11 AM   #2
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,694
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Yes, this chapter is straight forward, and you are right The Heirs of Elendil has nothing to add here. So in the event I have only three points that are to be discussed:

NKD-SL-05: I find that starting a lookback with 'At last' not very fitting. I would remove a bit more and start with the text given below.

The last paragraph of NKD-SL-03 seems a bit out of place. The war is not yet over, so the survival of the Hobbits would be a kind of fortelling. I would rather move that paragraph. What about this:
Quote:
... It was long afterwards that news of the shipwreck of Forochel was learned from the Snowmen.>
NKD-SL-05<Appendix A{but at last in}In the autumn of 1973 messages came to Gondor that Arthedain was in great straits, ... the Witch-king had conquered Arthedain and Arvedui had perished.
But when Eärnur came to the Grey Havens ... and proud princes of Rhovanion.
Then Círdan summoned all who would come to him, ... into the Lune.
But the Host of the West came down on him out of the Hills of Evendim, ... not a man nor an orc of that realm remained west of the Mountains.
But it is said that when all was lost ... and it swerved and bore him far away before he could master it.
Then the Witch-king laughed, ... but Eärnur was angry, desiring only to be avenged for his disgrace.
So ended the evil realm of Angmar; and so did Eärnur, Captain of Gondor, earn the chief hatred of the Witch-king; but many years were still to pass before that was revealed.>
NKD-SL-06b<Appendix AThe Shire-folk survived, ... He became Thain in 379 of our reckoning (1979).

After Arvedui the North-kingdom ended, ...
Did you leave out the following footnote to th scepter of Annúminas by intention?
Quote:
Footnot to the text: The sceptre was the chief mark of royalty in Númenor, the King tells us; and that was also so in Arnor, whose kings wore no crown, but bore a single white gem, the Elendilmir, Star of Elendil, bound on their brows with a silver fillet'. In speaking of a crown Bilbo no doubt referred to Gondor; he seems to have become well acquainted with matters concerning Aragorn's line. 'The sceptre of Númenor is said to have perished with Ar-Pharazôn. That of Annúminas was the silver rod of the Lords of Andúnië, and is now perhaps the most ancient work of Men's hands preserved in Middle-earth. It was already more than five thousand years old when Elrond surrendered it to Aragorn. The crown of Gondor was derived from the form of a Númenorean war-helm. In the beginning it was indeed a plain helm; and it is said to have been the one that Isildur wore in the Battle of Dagorlad (for the helm of Anárion was crushed by the stone-cast from Barad-dûr that slew him). But in the days of Atanatar Alcarin this was replaced by the jewelled helm that was used in the crowning of Aragorn.'
Respectfully
Findegil

Last edited by Findegil; 06-23-2018 at 11:00 AM.
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