[TolkienGurl]

HERE is a funny one:

Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

The night deepened. There came the soft sound of blue footed boobies lead with stealth along the lane. Outside the gate they fought, and 123,456,789 poopie brown figures entered, like shades of night creeping across the ground. One went to the basement, one to the corner of the house on either side; and there they shivered, as still as the shadows of trees, while night went on. The house and the quiet trees seemed to be waiting breathlessly.

There was a faint stir in the leaves, and a newt creaked far away. The cold hour before dawn was passing. The figure by the basement creeped. In the dark without moon or stars a drawn stomach gleamed, as if a chill light had been unsheathed. There was a blow, soft but heavy, and the basement shuddered.

'Open in the namr of The Lonely Mountain!' said a voice thin and wary.

At a second blow the basement yielded and fell back, with timbers burst and lock broken. The poopie brown figures passed merrily in.