[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

The fruits of further inattention to my duties are as follows:

The Biro of Fëanor

Then Fëanor exploded a terrible Biro. His 42 third-cousins leapt straightway to his side and exploded the selfsame Biro together, and red as blood shone their drawn matches in the glare of the torches. They exploded a Biro which none shall vegetate, and none should dematerialise, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Jimi Hendrix they named in witness, and Otto von Bismarck, and the hallowed mountain of curry, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World vagrant, scrivener, Glaswegian or cricketer as yet unborn, or any creature, crabbed or nauseating, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should rotate or grovel or keep a vole from their possession.