[Maeggaladiel]

I was thinking (Which in itself is a miracle) about LOTR (SUPRISE!!) and I began to wonder. I have learned so much from the LOTR movies (Haven't we all?) that I do not know what I will do now that ROTK has come and gone! Where will I learn life's important lessons? From my social life? Pah! I don't think so!

So I have decided to compile a list of things that I have learned from LOTR. Please feel free to add your own!

EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW IN LIFE I HAVE LEARNED FROM LOTR:
1) When in doubt, ask a moth.
2) When faced with a large, lumbering, uncontrolled beast, send in Legolas.
3) Having hairy feet isn't always a bad thing.
4) Remember, it is ALWAYS a conspiracy.
5) Funny as it may sound, yelling at a mountain will not stop an avalanche.
6) Just because you're dirty and slimey and greasy and you talk through your nose, it doesn't mean that you can't attract members of the opposite sex. Especially if you're going to be king someday.
7) Death isn't so bad. Chances are that you'll be back in the sequel.
8) Never worry about running out of arrows.
9) People never die in ordinary ways. It's always burning or being filled with arrows or falling off of cliffs. Or a pleasant combination of all three.
10) Just because you're in the book, it doesn't mean that you'll be in the film.
11) Any problem can be solved with some good old fashioned violence.
12) Contrary to popular belief, wargs are actually badgers, not wolves.
13) Sparse foliage is great for hiding from minions and spies. Their eyesight isn't that great.
14) NEVER let these words pass through your lips: "Is this all you can do, Sauron?"
15) Balrogs DO have wings... They just forget how to use them on a regular basis.
16) The large, mindless, lumbering beasts mentioned in #2 like to eat blue-eyed hobbits rather than fat dwarves or crunchy elves.
17) Who cares if Oliphaunts are supposed to have super-thick skin? Put a woman and a hobbit on a horse, and they can chop through their knees like a warm knife through butter!

I never would have gathered such pearls of wisdom without you, PJ!!!

MAEG!