The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum - View Single Post - PJ on trial for 'Crimes against Tolkienity !

**lindil** · 12-13-2003, 02:29 PM

[Judge]Sgt., install the 1st edition of The Lord of the Rings for the swearing in procedure.
[Peter Jackson blanches visibly and stammers] Please, it was meant as an adaptation! Do not make me testify on the Book!

[Judge] Mr. Jackson, you have been previously warned that this court would not suffer 'artistic license' excuses.

In addition to any other penalties this court may see to impose at a later to time, for Contempt of Court you are hereby sentenced to read publicaly at the local library of your choosing, every September 22nd from the chapters, 'Of herbs and stewed Rabbits', and 'The Forbidden Pool', 'The Window on the West', and answer all questions as to why you willfully perverted the character of beyond all reasonable limits. There must be at least 50 people in attendance or the reading will need to repeated each day until said number is acheived. Cumalitive totals will be allowed, and so will the press. This penalty will be in force til such time as you are no longer able to speak or walk, until an edition of the LotR hs been rendered which does not contain a spurious and offensive Faramir.

Have I made myself clear as to the types of evidence that will allowed in your defense?

[Peter Jackson] Yes your Honor, perfectly clear.

[judge] Let the trial continue. Next!

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 4:20 PM December 13, 2003: Message edited by: lindil ]

12-13-2003, 02:29 PM	#8
lindil Seeker of the Straight Path Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: a hidden fastness in Big Valley nor cal Posts: 1,680	[Judge]Sgt., install the 1st edition of The Lord of the Rings for the swearing in procedure. [Peter Jackson blanches visibly and stammers] Please, it was meant as an adaptation! Do not make me testify on the Book! [Judge] Mr. Jackson, you have been previously warned that this court would not suffer 'artistic license' excuses. In addition to any other penalties this court may see to impose at a later to time, for Contempt of Court you are hereby sentenced to read publicaly at the local library of your choosing, every September 22nd from the chapters, 'Of herbs and stewed Rabbits', and 'The Forbidden Pool', 'The Window on the West', and answer all questions as to why you willfully perverted the character of beyond all reasonable limits. There must be at least 50 people in attendance or the reading will need to repeated each day until said number is acheived. Cumalitive totals will be allowed, and so will the press. This penalty will be in force til such time as you are no longer able to speak or walk, until an edition of the LotR hs been rendered which does not contain a spurious and offensive Faramir. Have I made myself clear as to the types of evidence that will allowed in your defense? [Peter Jackson] Yes your Honor, perfectly clear. [judge] Let the trial continue. Next! <font size=1 color=339966>[ 4:20 PM December 13, 2003: Message edited by: lindil ] __________________ The dwindling Men of the West would often sit up late into the night exchanging lore & wisdom such as they still possessed that they should not fall back into the mean estate of those who never knew or indeed rebelled against the Light.