Thread: The Stewards
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Old 11-26-2019, 01:49 PM   #31
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,556
Findegil is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
Remarks about the new editings:
FY-HL-14.2: Unchanged
TS-FR-03.5b: I put that passage here in front of the chapter because it is more of a description of the generall situation in the world and it fits well to the end of the last chapter and as an intro into this new one.
TS-SL-04.5b: I took up much more of these passage so it is a kind of pretelling. But that does serve well here as an intor. But as we have not yet spoken aboute the assult upon Dol Guldur, the reference to it must go.
TS-QE-01: Unchanged
TS-QE-02b: Unchanged
TS-QE-03: Unchanged
TS-QE-04b: Unchanged
TS-QE-05: Unchanged
TE-QE-05.1: Unchanged
TE-QE-05.2: Unchanged
TS-QE-06b: Unchanged
TS-SL-03b: Unchanged
TS-QE-07 to TS-QE-10: Unchanged
TS-QE-11b: I found a better source, more removed from the final text.
TS-QE-12: Unchanged
TS-QE-13b: Unchanged
TS-QE-14 to TS-QE-27: Unchanged
TS-QE-27.1: Unchanged
TS-QE-27.2: Unchanged
TS-QE-28 & TS-QE-29: Unchanged
FY-HL-14.6: Unchanged
TS-QE-30 to TS-QE-32: Unchanged
TS-QE-32.5: Unchanged
TS-QE-33.7: Unchanged
TS-QE-33: Unchanged
TS-QE-33.5: Unchanged
TS-QE-34: Unchanged
TS-QE-34.5: Unchanged
TS-QE-34.7: Unchanged
TS-QE-34.9: Unchanged
TS-QE-35 & TS-QE-36: Unchanged
TS-QE-38: Unchanged
TS-QE-38.1: Even so the text is the same, I changed the source.
FY-HL-15b: Unchanged
TS-FR-00.5: Unchanged
TS-FR-01b: Unchanged
TS-QE-39: Unchanged
TS-BB-01 & TS-BB-02: Here the new editing realy begins. As there is a gap between the place we have reached with The Finding of the Ring and the beginning of the First Outline I have filled that gap by {Thorin}[Gandalf] telling the story of their journey to {Medwed}[Beorn]. Of course I had to remove the arrival of all the dwarves, therefore this is spilted in to parts.
TS-BB-03: Here First Outline starts with a blank statement we have to expand to a sentence.
TS-BB-04: Polt Notes A is a much fuller text and therefore preferred as sun as it starts.
FY-HL-15.5b: I took up this chapter title because it serves as a binder for two far separated items combined.
TS-SL-04b: I found it better fitting to tell of Gandalfs reason to leave Thorin & Co. in the moment he does leave. But how ever this first sentence with its description of the darkening of Mirkwood would fit here anyhow.
TS-QE-41c: This did nearly not move at all, but it is now embedded into a quite new context.
TS-FR-03.5a: This is not only moved but as well a bit changed, to have a smoother integration.
TS-QE-41d: The next part that I moved to this place.
TS-QE-44a: And with this we end the telling of the attack on Dol Guldur.
TS-BB-06: We stay in Mirkwood but go back to Thorin & Co.
TS-BB-07: The outline is a bit thinking with the pen, so we have to sort it a bit here.
TS-BB-08: I think this addition from the top margin has to go in here.
TS-BB-09: We change here to Plot Notes B since they do fit the tale as it was written in the end more closely.
FY-HL-15.7: I took this sub-chapter heading again from Mr. Baggins.
TS-BB-10: We continue with Plot Notes B.
TS-BB-11: That the key from the Troll-purse fited the door was only eliminated in the final writing so we have no chance as to insert a few words from The Hobbit.
TS-BB-12: Here we change to the new Plot Notes C.
TS-BB-13: To compile a text coherent in itself and fiting the later final version I used here part of Plot Notes B even so it was replaced by Plot Notes C.
TS-BB-14: In the outlines the dwarves hide in holes and under rocks. So again we have to take a sentence from a more finished text.
TS-BB-15: A small change, but important to make the story fit to what is said in The Hobbit.
TS-BB-16 & TS-BB-17: That Bilbo was burned and that he was suspicious against the dwarves are information found in Plot Notes B and not mentioned in the later ones, but taken up in the final text.
TS-BB-18: I move this bit to get a chance to add the thrush here, which seems a necessary information seeing the later story.
TS-BB-19 & TS-BB-20: The later story in the Plot Notes make it clear that the thrush overhearing Bilbo telling the dwarves about Smaug’s week spot was a part of the story, but to bring that into our text I had again to us are more finished version.
TS-BB-21 & TS-BB-22: Again I constructed my text from Plot Notes B since they are a bit fuller text then the later Plot Notes.
TS-BB-23: The closing of the door and Smaug’s fury I had agin to take from a more final text.
TS-BB-24: Again a part of Plot Notes B serving to builf a coherent text.
TS-BB-25: At least a bit of Plot Notes C useable.
TS-BB-26: In the Notes it reads as if the Lake-men were succseful in quenching the fires, but we know from the final text that they were not.
TS-BB-27 & TS-BB-28: This part is difficult to bring into accordance with the final text. Thefore it is a wild mixture.
TS-QE-43b: We used Appendix A more widly in our last draft. I incopperated parts of it were this was helpful.
TS-BB-29: In contrast to Plot Notes A to Plot Notes D Plot Notes E and Plot Notes F are really only separated notes. Therefore I took them spearingly and had to edit them greatly to be usefull.
TS-BB-30: Here we reach the start of Plot Notes D which is the last integrated into Tolkiens pre-writing in short hand narrative form.
TS-BB-31: A small detail added from Plot Notes B because it is only found there and in the final text.
TS-BB-32: I reorganiced the sequence a bit, because I think it makes a better flow of the text.
TS-BB-33: This is not mention in Plot Notes D.
TS-BB-34: In the Plote Notes the place of the Arkenstone was taken by the Gem of Girion. I left the Gem in the earlier mention and added the Arkenstone, but here and later on we have to change it.
TS-BB-35: That is the best I could find to make clear that Bilbo did know that it was not right to take the stone.
TS-BB-36: A passage from Plot Notes E taken up here.
TS-BB-37: Back to Plot Note D.
TS-BB-38: That addon from the left margin seems to be long here.
TS-QE-43.5b & TS-QE-43c: The Battle of the Five Armies is not told in the Plot Notes. Therefore we must use as we did in the last draft other sources. But I reorganized them to fit with the material found in the Plot Notes.
TS-BB-39: The last page of the Plot Notes Tolkien left unchanged, therefore we are back at Plot Notes B here.
TS-QE-43d: The next slice from the Appendix A needed because the Battle was not described in the Plot Notes.
TS-BB-40 & TS-BB-41: Okay, these are from a Battle in the upper vale of Anduin but it was the best I found to construct our text and they fit more or less well.
TS-BB-42: When this was written it was not planed for the death scene of Thorin, but it is for sure the first hint of the reconciliation of Thorin and Bilbo after the enstarngement following Bilbo giving the Arkenstone to Bard.
TS-QE-43e: Back to Appendix A.
TS-BB-43: The extension of this draft passage is based on the final text.
TS-QE-43f, TS-QE-41c & TS-QE-43g: The next bits of our last draft arranged here.
TS-BB-44: The dealing out of the treasure by Dain can here not be told as in the hobbit, but this passage does summarize it good enough.
TS-BB-45 & TS-BB-46: The same here with Bilbo’s reward.
TS-BB-47: Plot Notes F is a difficult source due to its nature as working notes, but it is the only source to build up part of the backward journey.
TS-BB-48: I wanted to tell the story line of the Gem of Girion to its end. Even so I had to catch that text from a more final text, it is still fare from the version in The Hobbit.
TS-BB-49: The Backward journey was only given in Plot Notes B.
TS-FR-03b: This is only slightly changed due to its new circumstance.
TS-FR-05: Unchanged.
FY-HL-15.8: Does someone have a good idea for a headline here? Otherwise the stars must do to separate what follows from Bilbos adventure.
TS-SL-07b: Unchanged.
TS-SL-05b: Unchanged.
TS-SL-06 to TS-SL-12: Unchanged.

Respectfuly
Findegil
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