You know what's funny? I'm listening to The Hives right now.
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but unless I am completely misunderstanding... insulting a huge chunk of what is considered to be great writing
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Yes, you're completely misunderstanding.
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Basically, I assume that you are expressing your disdain for writers that lay their cards out on the table
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Nope, I'm expressing my disdain for writers who are
only able to give depth to their characters by laying all their cards on the table (since, like it or not, I believe that method to be less difficult and less artistic).
But more importantly I'm expressing my disdain for readers that are
only able to see character depth if the author uses the "cards on the table" method.
(and by the way, I thought that little excerpt you gave was quite entertaining)