Your Doriath river looks pretty! Theirs is maybe not the best, I agree. I didn't realize they were supposed to be the same scene. But now I have to look at the videos to find Menelmacar, because I missed that detail too.
I agree that if Truth is en route to Mandos, then Wind can be the announcement of death instead and preceed it. But we need to make it very clear in our Truth music and visuals what we are intending it to represent. Let's move Wind up.
For fingered branches: how about "slender-fingered"?
Also, the rhyme is not that strong anyways, not between pathway/die nor webs/death, because rather than fall on the downbeat as in Russian, the rhyming syllable in the first set falls on the offbeat. The rhyming scheme can also be changed to match the AABB of the first two refrains rather than ABAB. I don't feel strongly about leaving it vs changing it, I will leave it up to you.
With the edit we lost what I think is the only use of "destiny" in the musical.
For something that talks about fate a lot, that's one synonym we've pretty much manahed to avoid somehow. Doesn't rhyme well? Clumsier word? Anyways, just abstracted musings.
I started working on the Elven choir, and if all goes well this weekend we might be able to showcase some work.