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Old 07-07-2020, 02:41 AM   #22
Huinesoron
Overshadowed Eagle
 
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: The north-west of the Old World, east of the Sea
Posts: 3,778
Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Huinesoron is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Okay! I think, somehow, this thing is actually done.

The Ballad of Finrod to Amarie

In the hour when slumber calls
And the cloak of Night dulls the air
I don’t see these stone-carven walls
For I know that you are still there.
I know I can never return
That my heart lies cold by the way
There is no escaping my fate
In this land where memories burn

I cannot bring myself to curse your choice
I cannot curse my own unchanging nature
Your love sings to my heart, a whispered voice
The time for turning from the truth is over.
The Grinding Ice burns crimson in the sun
A boundary of blood to keep us parted
My grief is not that I go on alone
My grief is that our song was left unfinished...

Between us time and Sea weave their tress
Between us now, shadowy road
In the dark you cried to me: "No"
Leaving me forever with "Yes".
Now you are my hope in the night
You are my rebuke where I go
Had I not pursued that old foe
Perhaps another fate would be mine.

Your wings blaze like an Eagle in the West
Oh, would that love had never heard of rules!
It wasn't you who left me in the dust
Forever I regret the Night I left you!
Perhaps there is no boundary between
Perhaps our summer Sun is undiminished
My grief is not that I cannot return
My grief is that our song was left unfinished...

Many summers since that long Night
Yellowed grass waves like golden locks
Now the Ring that Beren brings forth
Shows me that your course ran aright.
Only one road runs ever straight
Only love remains ever true
You spurned me forever that Night
But I never swore I would leave you.

You are now my guiding light above
So guide me down untrodden paths of fate
One soul can only serve a single love
There's no turning back from what is right!
Your steady light shines ever in the West
Forgive me for the answer I demanded
My grief is not the "no" that you confessed
My grief is that our song was left unfinished...


All scansion, rhyme, and meaning at least approximately conserved. It sings pretty well, too.

I think the least faithful line is "Only love that's lost can endure". The translation says "There's no love that can be betrayed", but I'm not sure if he's saying "It's impossible to betray love" or "Without love, you can't betray it". Context kind of suggests the former, but the latter gave me a rhyme.

hS

Last edited by Huinesoron; 07-07-2020 at 07:20 AM. Reason: Slight tweak (see following posts)
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