[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Lindale

I wish Elves could go to insanely pricey coffeeshops like Starbucks.

Your wish is Richar E Granted...
However, because they get obsessed with their frappe-chinos and other type high fat drinks, many Elves get ridiculously obese. This leads to broken tree houses in Lorien, cracked paving stones in Rivendell and sinking boats at the Grey Havens. On the plus side, Sauron fails to see the need in invading and instead decides to just have Orcs push them down the stairs while he laughs.

I wish Trolls REALLY LIKED Mutton.