The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum - View Single Post - The Revenge of the Entish Bow

Kuruharan · 03-25-2003, 10:15 PM

"If the fact that this danger cannot be seen proves it is there, does it mean when we can see this danger that it is gone?" Kuruharan wondered to himself.

"Oh well," he thought as he dashed off down a hallway. He’d never met an opportunity for plunder that he didn’t like.

The rest of the Gallows-ship apparently agreed because they scattered in all directions.

This was probably a slightly foolish thing for them to do. The Gallows-ship knew that they were in great danger because they had seen nothing dangerous to this point. Confronted by this conclusive lack of evidence, the sensible thing for them to do would have been to stick together and loot the place systematically. Alas, they were seized by a madness of unbridled avarice, each one determined to grab all the goodies for themselves and not have to share.

Two hours later Kuruharan went over the sum total of his findings up to that point.

"Let’s see here…a set of swim fins, a broken piece of plywood, a chia pet, and a half-eaten biscuit. Not my most impressive haul. There must be something better around here somewhere," muttered Kuruharan. The dwarf suddenly had a realization. "If I could only figure out where here was."

It was true, he had wandered around so confusedly that he was now thoroughly befuddled, and slightly dizzy. He sat down on his broken piece of plywood, picked up his chia pet, munched on his half-eaten biscuit, and took stock of his situation.

When he finished the biscuit he stared at the chia pet for a long moment.

"And now I shall give you a name, and I shall call you…Ralph!"

The chia pet, or Ralph as we must now call him, stared back as insipidly as only a chia pet can stare.

"I don’t suppose that you are a talking chia pet…are you?" asked Kuruharan.

++++15 minutes later++++

"Should I take that as a no?"

Ralph continued to stare.

"I wonder if Ralph could be a part of the Ent That Was Broken?" wondered Kuruharan, desperately trying to find some way of making this sequence more interesting.

He poked and prodded Ralph and eventually came to the conclusion that Ralph was indeed your run-of-the-mill chia pet, ceramic body, bizarre herbage, and all.

"Well," said Kuruharan, "that was disappointing."

Suddenly, Kuruharan had another shocking realization.

"I’m sitting on a broken piece of plywood, in the bowels of a musty, crusty castle, talking to a chia pet."

Kuruharan glanced around nervously for a moment.

"I said, I’m sitting on a broken piece of plywood, in the bowels of a musty, crusty castle, talking to a chia pet!"

Kuruharan’s eye started twitching.

"I SAID, I’M SITTING ON A BROKEN PIECE OF PLYWOOD, IN THE BOWELS OF A MUSTY, CRUSTY CASTLE, TALKING TO A CHIA PET!!!!"

Unused to such large doses of reality, Kuruharan started gibbering and cackling like a deranged monkey. He staggered to his feet, pulled on his swim fins, and started weaving and wobbling about the hallway like a drunken sailor, laughing like a hyena the whole time.

"This is *WAHAHAHAHA* not good Ralph! *HEEHEEHEEHEE* OH-NO!!! *PAWHAWHAWHAWHAW* I’M DOING IT AGAIN!!!"

Just as reality made further unwelcome intrusions into Kuruharan’s thought processes, he reeled in the direction of his broken piece of plywood. At this moment his unfortunate choice of footwear betrayed him. One of his swim fins got caught on the piece of plywood and tripped him.

*SMACK* went Kuruharan right to the floor.

Fortunately, Ralph was saved from injury. He stood there on his little ceramic legs and stared at the unlucky (and unconscious) dwarf. Ralph did not appear to find it odd that the unhinged laughter mysteriously continued, and in fact got progressively louder.

Ralph undoubtedly reasoned that since danger had now manifested itself in some way it must, of logical necessity, no longer be present.

03-25-2003, 10:15 PM	#165
Kuruharan Regal Dwarven Shade Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold Posts: 3,589	"If the fact that this danger cannot be seen proves it is there, does it mean when we can see this danger that it is gone?" Kuruharan wondered to himself. "Oh well," he thought as he dashed off down a hallway. He’d never met an opportunity for plunder that he didn’t like. The rest of the Gallows-ship apparently agreed because they scattered in all directions. This was probably a slightly foolish thing for them to do. The Gallows-ship knew that they were in great danger because they had seen nothing dangerous to this point. Confronted by this conclusive lack of evidence, the sensible thing for them to do would have been to stick together and loot the place systematically. Alas, they were seized by a madness of unbridled avarice, each one determined to grab all the goodies for themselves and not have to share. Two hours later Kuruharan went over the sum total of his findings up to that point. "Let’s see here…a set of swim fins, a broken piece of plywood, a chia pet, and a half-eaten biscuit. Not my most impressive haul. There must be something better around here somewhere," muttered Kuruharan. The dwarf suddenly had a realization. "If I could only figure out where here was." It was true, he had wandered around so confusedly that he was now thoroughly befuddled, and slightly dizzy. He sat down on his broken piece of plywood, picked up his chia pet, munched on his half-eaten biscuit, and took stock of his situation. When he finished the biscuit he stared at the chia pet for a long moment. "And now I shall give you a name, and I shall call you…Ralph!" The chia pet, or Ralph as we must now call him, stared back as insipidly as only a chia pet can stare. "I don’t suppose that you are a talking chia pet…are you?" asked Kuruharan. ++++15 minutes later++++ "Should I take that as a no?" Ralph continued to stare. "I wonder if Ralph could be a part of the Ent That Was Broken?" wondered Kuruharan, desperately trying to find some way of making this sequence more interesting. He poked and prodded Ralph and eventually came to the conclusion that Ralph was indeed your run-of-the-mill chia pet, ceramic body, bizarre herbage, and all. "Well," said Kuruharan, "that was disappointing." Suddenly, Kuruharan had another shocking realization. "I’m sitting on a broken piece of plywood, in the bowels of a musty, crusty castle, talking to a chia pet." Kuruharan glanced around nervously for a moment. "I said, I’m sitting on a broken piece of plywood, in the bowels of a musty, crusty castle, talking to a chia pet!" Kuruharan’s eye started twitching. "I SAID, I’M SITTING ON A BROKEN PIECE OF PLYWOOD, IN THE BOWELS OF A MUSTY, CRUSTY CASTLE, TALKING TO A CHIA PET!!!!" Unused to such large doses of reality, Kuruharan started gibbering and cackling like a deranged monkey. He staggered to his feet, pulled on his swim fins, and started weaving and wobbling about the hallway like a drunken sailor, laughing like a hyena the whole time. "This is WAHAHAHAHA not good Ralph! HEEHEEHEEHEE OH-NO!!! PAWHAWHAWHAWHAW I’M DOING IT AGAIN!!!" Just as reality made further unwelcome intrusions into Kuruharan’s thought processes, he reeled in the direction of his broken piece of plywood. At this moment his unfortunate choice of footwear betrayed him. One of his swim fins got caught on the piece of plywood and tripped him. SMACK went Kuruharan right to the floor. Fortunately, Ralph was saved from injury. He stood there on his little ceramic legs and stared at the unlucky (and unconscious) dwarf. Ralph did not appear to find it odd that the unhinged laughter mysteriously continued, and in fact got progressively louder. Ralph undoubtedly reasoned that since danger had now manifested itself in some way it must, of logical necessity, no longer be present. __________________ ...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no...