[Child of the 7th Age]

Child of the 7th Age awakens underneath the buffet table, yawns, stretches, then hiccups. She can't quite remember how she got there and, on reflection, decides that it's probably better not to probe too deeply. Her pony has gotten loose and is running around the pavilion eating every apple in sight.

The crowds have thinned out considerably. She peers left, then right, then left again. It seems all weird looking creatures who are more than two feet taller than her have left or are shirking in the corners doing strange things. Ah, ha, time for Child to take her leave.

But wait, there's that dratted Birdie. Hey, Birdland, you still owe me twelve hundred and thirty two silver pennies for all that mail. I am holding you personally responsible for this mailbag mess. Look at this place--letters strewn all over!!! You have a very disrespectful attitude towards authority, and I am quite sure you put the young hobbits up to posting their mail without adequate Shire postage.

Child grins sheepishly, looks sideways at Birdland and then lowers her voice. Of course, I might be able to find another way for you to redeem yourself from this unfortunate situation. I just happen to have in my possession a copy of my newly published 2,000-page magnum opus entitled Frodo Baggins: Hero or Chump? This seminal creation explores many aspects of blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah!! This lovely volume weighs 10 stone, but costs a mere 50 silver pennies....quite a bargain.....now come over here and we can discuss........