[Nari]

Not only does this reveal things about a character, it also reveals what kind of a therapist I would be.

Laurel the Therapist (L): Come in!

*a man enters, draped in a cloak, consealing his face*

L: Are you my five o'clock?

Man in Cloak (M): Yes... I need to talk to you.

L: Yeah, well that's what I'm here for. Sit down, but don't sit in the fuzzy chair, that's my chair.

*M sits*

L: So, what do you need help with? Murder, suicide, abusive parents...

M: I think I'm gay.

L: Of course.

M: But I have a daughter, and that's the problem, what if I got found out? I mean, I have taken a liking to a specific wizard and... well, I've been called a crossdresser more than once...

*L examines her fingernails and eyes the clock*

M: Are you paying attention to me? Don't you have any advice?

L: What do you need help with? Become a drag queen.

M: But... I don't know if I want to...

L: Okay then, God! Quit whining. Your problems this, your problems that, some other people have problems too, you know.

*M takes in a shaky breath*

L: Okay, okay, sorry. Tell me about your wizard friend.

M: Oh... well. He is good to talk to, and he comes to me a lot for help. He's old but I think I've taken some kind of odd liking to him.

L: Hmm.

M: But I mean, this is only the surface of my problems. Appearances. I think I'm in way over my head. I have to be responsible for my people, I have to make decisions, my daughter is in love with this mangy human guy who I think is definately gay, or into Hobbits, at least. She doesn't value my opinion as much as his, I feel so unwanted. And then I have this guilt hanging over my head for not getting rid of this ring that could have- oh, I don't think I should have mentioned that.

*L leans forward*

L: No, go on. A ring? What kind of stone?

M: No stone, just gold.

*L leans back*

L: Oh. Okeydokey.

M: It's a very evil ring. It could destroy the world, and because of it, my people had to flee our home...

*Something flashes from under the cloak*

L: What was that?

M: What? Nothing...

L: Heyyy... is that a tiara?

M: No! It's a headband. I need to wear it.

L: Why?

*M lowers hood and slips the headband off*

L: OH MY GOD! THE FOREHEAD... THE FOREHEAD!!!

M: Hey! I'm paying you to be sympathetic.

L: Yes... Uhm... you have a nice forehead.

M: Really?

L: Yes, very sexy. *writes note on notepad "Compliments... $200" *

M: Oh. Thanks! Hey! Maybe I'm not gay after all... I mean, I think you're rather attractive.

L: Oh? *Erases extra charge*

*M uses super elf vision to watch and smirks a bit to himself*

L: So, what was your childhood like?

M: Well, I'm really old, so a lot of stuff happened to me...

L: Old? Like what, 30?

*M laughs a bit.*

M: Yes, let's say I'm 30. Anyway...

L: Yeah. Okay so, We have fifteen minutes left. Anything else you'd like to get off your chest?

*M slips his cloak off*

L: My god! I wanted that dress and they were out!

M: Do you think it makes me look like a fairy princess or something?

L: Yes, but it's pretty. I mean, at least you aren't wearing tank tops and fishnets. I think the look suits you, actually.

M: Really?

L: Totally! I mean, opt for some rust colored eye shadow, and I have a blush that would do wonders for your skin...

M: Can we talk about something else?

L: Sure. Go on to the "I need to save my troubled, troubled people" part.

M: Yes, well. I believe the eye of Sauron is on Rivendell, so we evacuated and I'm not sure if the danger has passed and I keep getting these mind-messages from Galadriel..

L: Whoa. Babe channeling you?

M: She is my mother-in-law.

L: Meow.

M: No, it's not like that. She puts fear in my heart and I believe she is right. I know she is right... Frodo will die...

L: You blame yourself. And you also still feel guilty about not forcing Isildur to destroy the ring and for sending the Fellowship on an impossible quest?

M: How did you know that?

L: I've seen Two Towers eight times.

M: ...... Oh. Well anyway...

L: Time's up!

M: But I have so much more to say!

L: Hook me up with Éowyn and you can have all the time you want.

M: What?

L: You can come back next week. Here's my card. Please sign your bill right here...

*M signs and then exits*

L: *reading from card* Elle Ronde. Oh, that's subtle.