Aragorn: There it is! The Bridge of Khazad-Dum!
Legolas: Oh great!
Aragorn: Look! There's the Balrog from chapter 24!
Gandalf: What's he doing here?
Aragorn: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Khazad-Dum. He asks each traveller five questions--
Gimli: Three Questions
Aragorn: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
Gimli: Three questions.
Aragorn: three questions, may cross in safety.
Legolas: What if you get a question wrong?
Aragorn: Then you are cast...into the Endless drop of Moria!!!!
Legolas: Oh, I won't go!
Gimli: Who's going to answer the questions?
Aragorn: Legolas!
Legolas: Yes?
Aragorn: Brave Sir Legolas, you go!
Legolas: Hey...I've got a great idea! Why doesn't Boromir go?
Boromir: Yes, le me go, my liege. I will take it singlehanded. I shall make a feint to the North-East, and then--
Aragorn: No, no, no...hang on, hang on, hang on! Just answer the five questions--
Gimli: Three questions--
Aragorn: Three questions as best you can, and we shall watch...and pray!
Boromir: I understand, my liege.
Aragorn: Good luck, brave Sir Boromir! God be with you!
Balrog: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Boromir: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid!
Balrog: What is your name?
Boromir: My name is Sir Boromir of Minas Tirith!
Balrog: What is your quest?
Boromir: To destory the ring of power!
Balrog: What...is your favorite color?
Boromir: Blue.
Balrog: Right, off you go.
Boromir: Oh! Thank you. Thank you very much.
Legolas: That's easy!
Balrog: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Legolas: As me the questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid!
Balrog: What is your name?
Legolas: Sir Legolas of Mirkwood!
Balrog: What is your quest?
Legolas: To destory the ring of power!
Balrog: What...is the capital of Cardolan?
Legolas: I don't know THAT!! AHHHHHHHHHH!
*The Balrog whips Legolas off the Bridge into the chasm*
Balrog: Stop! What is your name?
Gimli: Sir Gimli of Erebor!
Balrog: What is your quest?
Gimli: To destory the ring of power!
Balrog: What...is your favorite color?
Gimli: Blue! No...YELLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!
*Balrog whips Gimli off the Bridge into the chasm*
Balrog: Stop! What is your name?
Aragorn: It is Aragorn, Chieftan of the Dunedain!
Balrog: What is your quest?
Aragorn: To destory the ring of power!
Balrog: What...is the airspeed velocity of an unladen fell-beast?
Aragorn: What do you mean? From Mordor, or Carn Dum?
Balrog: Huh? What? I...I don't know that! AHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Balrog slips off Bridge into the chasm*
Gandalf: How do you know the airspeed velocity of fell-beasts?
Aragorn: Well you have to know these things when your chieftan!
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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