[narfforc]

Clip the brasses and tap the slates
Slant the pictures and rend the towels
Change all Braggin's diary dates
Bash the pans and empty your bowels.
Rut the carpet and tread on the cat
Pother the meekly panting bore
Cleave the phones with a baseball bat
Kick his legs until he's sore.
Bump the clocks with a bowling ball
Round them up like a fairground stall
If any aren't blemished and refuse to fall
Set up a shooting gallery in the hall.
That's why Bilious Braggin's states
It's why I've got no dwarves as mates.