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Morthoron · 11-09-2008, 05:13 PM

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

To whom it may concern:

I am just dropping a line to commend a superlative article in the most recent 'Downer, entitled ''Panic as Burning Bloke Enters Playground" by E. D. Derek. It was the type of iconoclastic piece that shatters the apathetically lethargic mood that currently holds our society in thrall by subtley skewering newspapers' outmoded habits of attempting to report news in a factual manner, using grammar and punctuation, or trying to make sense. The article had none of this folderol -- how refreshing! Or to put things in context, as Mr. Derek said, "Lah lah foo foo, mongoose on toast." Brilliant!

It was rather like James Joyce and ee cummings had bumped uglies on the editor's desk, right atop the galleys for the latest edition of the paper (I guess one would call it a news leak). It was bold! It was masterful! I couldn't understand a word of it! I was so excited, I went right out and set fire to my garage as a beacon for the whole world to see. Unfortunately, the fire spread to several of my neighbor's houses, and I have been arrested for arson. But that doesn't matter, because a literary luminary has this day been born! I had tried to share my joy with other cellmates, but they seem put off by my ardor, and they have asked the guards that I be removed and put into solitary confinement.

In closing, I can only say that the cell in solitary has 14,364 colored dots on the floor and each speaks in one or another dialect current in 18th century B.C. (I enjoyed the 'Hammurabi and the whore of Bablyon' jokes at first, but the Amorites are rather crude, and it is not at all mannerly that they keep mentioning the need for blood sacrifice to the goddess Ishtar).

Sincerely,
Ibin Suffrin DuLac-O'Sense
Chairman, Lard and Sugar Refineries Board
Chicago, Ill

11-09-2008, 05:13 PM	#1362
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,528	LETTER TO THE EDITOR To whom it may concern: I am just dropping a line to commend a superlative article in the most recent 'Downer, entitled ''Panic as Burning Bloke Enters Playground" by E. D. Derek. It was the type of iconoclastic piece that shatters the apathetically lethargic mood that currently holds our society in thrall by subtley skewering newspapers' outmoded habits of attempting to report news in a factual manner, using grammar and punctuation, or trying to make sense. The article had none of this folderol -- how refreshing! Or to put things in context, as Mr. Derek said, "Lah lah foo foo, mongoose on toast." Brilliant! It was rather like James Joyce and ee cummings had bumped uglies on the editor's desk, right atop the galleys for the latest edition of the paper (I guess one would call it a news leak). It was bold! It was masterful! I couldn't understand a word of it! I was so excited, I went right out and set fire to my garage as a beacon for the whole world to see. Unfortunately, the fire spread to several of my neighbor's houses, and I have been arrested for arson. But that doesn't matter, because a literary luminary has this day been born! I had tried to share my joy with other cellmates, but they seem put off by my ardor, and they have asked the guards that I be removed and put into solitary confinement. In closing, I can only say that the cell in solitary has 14,364 colored dots on the floor and each speaks in one or another dialect current in 18th century B.C. (I enjoyed the 'Hammurabi and the whore of Bablyon' jokes at first, but the Amorites are rather crude, and it is not at all mannerly that they keep mentioning the need for blood sacrifice to the goddess Ishtar). Sincerely, Ibin Suffrin DuLac-O'Sense Chairman, Lard and Sugar Refineries Board Chicago, Ill __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.