[Galadriel55]

If you want to bribe a hobbit, you best do it with mushrooms, not gold.

If it's ever dark and stuffy, stay away from spider webs.

The best way to escape a bunch of enemies is to get lost in a magical forest. If that is unavailable, getting lost in a giant marsh is the next best thing.

You never just take the Eagles and get it done in a day. Instead, you spend near a year on a quest, nearly dying multiple times and getting armies to fight against each other.

If there is trouble, call 911 and an Eagle will promptly come to pick you up or help you out.

Never refer to an unknown dwarf as "he", even if it looks like a male. You never know.

Likewise, never refer to an unknown elf with long hair as a "she". You never know.

Boromir's right. You don't simply walk into Mordor. You run. And preferably you get carried part way.

Always a good thing to carry an extra pipe around with you. There might be a barrel or two of pipeweed just floating around somewhere on the way.