[Folwren]

Meghan made the same offer that Dorran had. Athwen was inclined to smile, but she didn’t. They were all so kind and wanting to give help. But she didn’t know how to answer. She couldn’t answer. She didn’t think there was any way to without knowing what lay ahead. Then, before she could think of someway to say this, the elves began making their farewells. The two girls rose and said goodbye with bows and they all watched the elves silently leave the camp.

When they had disappeared into the gathering gloom, Meghan and Athwen sat down again. Athwen drew her legs up and once more wrapped her arms about her knees. She looked at Meghan, laying her cheek against her knees.

“I do not know what I am going to do when I reach Edoras,” she said. “Life is so different for me now. I really don’t know what choices I have left. You offer me a home with your people, but you don’t know if they’ll be there. We don’t know if anyone that you all knew will be there. Besides, there’s war now, and I don’t think that any of us will really be able to decide anything until it’s over and you can return to your normal lives. I can really only decide what to really do then. . . when all this is over.”

She stopped and turned her head, resting her chin now on her knees and staring at the fire. “It’s hard to look ahead when everything is so uncertain, Meghan,” she said quietly. “You, at least, have something to live for and hope for. Your family may still be alive, and all your friends. You rode to save them. You have a future before you, and don’t have to start completely anew. I don’t know what I’m going to do. That is why I can not accept immediately your invitation.” She turned her head again and looked at Meghan. “I hope you understand. I don’t know how to explain why I cannot accept. I don’t want to say anything until I know at least something of what might happen, and right now, there is a thick veil over everything past the next moment.”

She stopped abruptly and turned her face away suddenly. There was a long pause before she spoke again. “Dorran’s said nearly the same thing, too, you know,” she said, her voice rather thick. “You all want to help and I love you for it. I feel, though, that I’ve been a burden since I was found. I wonder if they hadn’t found me and taken time to gather my dead family and friends and gone on instead if they wouldn’t have been attacked. Perhaps Vaenosa wouldn’t have died, and maybe Brand and Sythric would be in no danger of following her. And. . .and even Raedwald. . .” Her voice broke completely and she came to a stop, unable to go any further. She knew for a fact now that Meghan wouldn’t know what to think, and she wondered why she had even gone on so long.