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Originally Posted by Galadriel55
Is this a comfortable pitch range for you to sing in? Another thing I can fix after the score is done is to make it a bit higher or lower, so it doesn't strain as much to sing at the upper/lower ends of the register. If you think that would be helpful, we can experiment a bit.
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I have no idea. ^_^ I do know I jumped massively between Beren's first stanza and the rest of him; that's on me, not the score. I think it's fine?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
Yes - I am almost halfway through the final section. I am very excited to finally be done.  I also like the singing into dead silence trail-off, so I'll try to replicate that. |
I feel like discussing translation has really gotten me back into the Zong headspace. I've also got a drawing project on the go right now, so if I can maintain the drawing urge until that's finished, I should be able to sort out the last few portraits, and maybe even the backgrounds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
I love this one. And the "give my light to thine". This is perfect.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55
The other stanza... I am still mulling over, and may need some convincing. It sounds lovely, but this wasn't how I read Finrod's meaning initially. I had a more depressed read on him. "My life was worthless, a waste, I am dying a stupid inglorious death in a pit" - and no backbone to give his life form and meaning, to echo Beren's earlier love theme "by you my life is justified". Your translation takes a different twist on it, that Finrod finds the thing which makes his existence worthwhile, which is sacrificing himself for Beren. It makes sense grammatically and even story-wise, but a deep part of me still prefers the utterly dejected Finrod.
I rather like your Beren line - even though "Finrod" doesn't rhyme with "Beren", I think we can let that slide for the purpose of better meaning/grammar. It's also a lot easier to work with. Actually.......
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Hmm. I think the best path here is if we can find something that can be read
either way, to retain the ambiguity. (My read is solidly taken from the Script, where Finrod directly says that saving Beren was his purpose in Arda; it makes all his living relatives furious, as I recall.)
I didn't actually realise we were trying to rhyme daring/Beren; those are very different sounds in my accent. ^_^ I would quite like to keep "Finrod", because I've just checked, and it would be only the second time Beren uses his name to his face - and the first is qualified, "Finrod Elvenking" back in the Appeal. I quite like the idea that, right at the end, Beren's finally able to relate to him as an equal.
No, Finrod! O loyal friend, let hope abide!
But Beren! How can/could my life be justified?
Okay, I really like 'abide', and 'friend' rather than 'king'. And it pulls 'justified' in and keeps the name exchange... the only thing we lose is Finrod talking about deeds or actions, but that gives us that ambiguity: he's either saying 'I'm rubbish, I should just die' or 'how could I live knowing I let you die', and there's no way of knowing which.
hS