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Old 08-31-2015, 10:57 AM   #16
Kuruharan
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,685
Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Boots Less serious and more sporty music plays

Kuruharan: Good evening and welcome to Underground Football! I am your host Kuruharan. Joining us tonight is an entity who needs no introduction...or perhaps maybe he does. Some know him as Melkor, King of the World. Others still know him as Morgoth, Great Enemy of the World. Still others say that he is, in fact, a small post box just outside Droxford in rural Hampshire. So, two out of three strains of opinion hold that this guy is important! Let's welcome, Morgoth!

Morgoth: Thank you! Let me just say that I object to your use of that name, that it is a great honor for you to host me here this evening, and lastly I wish to once and for all put to rest these rumors that I am a mailbox in rural Hampshire! I've had to hold five press conferences this year alone to refute these ridiculous rumors!!! I am clearly no mailbox!

Kuruharan: So you say, but we will have to look at the evidence. First, though, do you have any comments on the rumors that were circulating last year that you are, in fact, a cleverly disguised passenger car on the Vivek Express in India that runs between Dibrugarh and Kanyakumari?

Morgoth: Those preposterous rumors were definitely put to rest in a statement by Indian Railways in September of last year.

Kuruharan: And do you also deny that you are a smokestack on a factory in Shanghai, China?

Morgoth: I do love a good smokestack...but I deny that. Next you will be saying that there is a rumor that I am a patch of snow on Aconcagua in the Andes!

Kuruharan: An excellent idea! We will flesh that rumor out at once! But, to come to the topic of tonight's interview, you were one of the harshest critics of Eru's decision to make King the Phantom I of Dorwinion, blessed be his reign, the Chair of the Arda Cup Committee. Would you care to elaborate on the nature of your objections?

Morgoth: If Eru is going to insist on making a player the Chair of the Committee, that player should be me! I was the first of all the Ainur, I should be in charge! I have lots of ideas about how to reform football in ways that will suit me!

Kuruharan: Is it true that you attempted to meet with Eru to express your concerns?

Morgoth: Yes...I was told that he didn't have time to meet with confused and overly ambitious railway cars. I was hoping that the statement by Indian Railways would have sorted the matter out but I still have not heard back from his secretary.

Kuruharan: The Underground managed to obtain this statement from King the Phantom regarding this situation. It reads in part, "I understand there is some kind of deranged mailbox in southern England (wherever that is) who thinks he is a smokestack in China (wherever that is) who is complaining about my appointment as Chair of the ACC. All I can say is that if one unbalanced mailbox is the only one complaining, I must be doing a pretty good job."

Morgoth: This won't be the last of this!!! They will be sorry they slighted ME, Master of the Fates of the Arda Cup! And...and Sauron's complaining too!!!!! I'm not the only one!!
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