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Old 01-18-2022, 03:51 AM   #552
Huinesoron
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
I think most of these silent beats / long syllables were fine. As long as it sings, it sings. I think content takes priority over exact meter here mostly.

I like "up into morning sky blue", I think it makes it easier to sing.

"No longer trapped by barred gate" though implies it once was trapped... and I am no longer sure what Amarie means again. I think the line works if "not trapped" goes as 2 regular (slower) beats instead of a triplet.
Took a quick run at it. Happy with "into morning sky blue", and I went for "you are not trapped behind a barred gate" for the extra syllable. I've also adopted "the" into the summer wine line. I think we have a working version! I'll try and find time to do a test duet with Celebestel if that would be useful?

hS
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